TuesDayNewsDay ~ October 16 2018
“I can live for two months on a compliment.” – Mark Twain
Cheers and good afternoon to you all. Candles burning and the waning, shorter-days light creeping in all the windows… This week has been all the ups and downs – trees on houses, love ablaze, adventure and longing, hurricane magic and destruction. Old friends and new, hearts on the line, just like the laundry – they need a second rinse in the rain. Today, this is the third installment of TuesDayNewsDay and there are some wonderful events coming up, weather willing, I am excited to share with you. I invite you to join me! I sit with my cup, just back from the magic rock, wiped clean from the flood, no memories remain, only leftover grains of sand from upriver.
Dedication: This issue is dedicated to all those who are still struggling after this hurricane. We were without power for about 3 days and lost hundreds of dollars worth of food that went bad in our refridgerator. We are not alone. Friends’ homes were destroyed and several people died along its way. My local friends in Saxapahaw who own restaurants lost a ton of farmers’ food; it’s a doggone shame. If you can find a way to help someone, in any instance, please do so. Ask around, I’m sure someone you know might need a hand with something.
On that note, I must say… I appreciate when there isn’t electricity flowing all around me. It was beautiful walking around with candles and quiet. I swear I think I can feel electricity and the waves from all the technology surrounding me. Sometimes when I’m holding my phone, my hand tingles and I get a cold chill. Wonder if anyone else experiences that phenomenon…? Outside in nature, what we have left of it between the paved streets and strip malls, is my favorite place to be. I want a simple home, surrounded by trees, some clean water source, and a place where I can poop outside. I had several hilarious conversations this week about that very thing since many folks couldn’t flush their toilets.
On the note of hurricane Michael, I would like to share with you (somewhat edited for efficiency here) my sunset experience Thursday night, written in my journal, the day the lights went out in Saxapahaw:
I stared quietly on in wonder as I arrived back into my room, through the window, at the eerie blue reflections of the sky on Western facing windows. As the sky darkened and the shadows grew deeper, I blew out my candles and I bid adieu to this day. Awakened from a long, solitary slumber to the beauty of moments as they fly by, I give thanks.”
This week also was quite eventful. I hosted the Empty Bowls fundraiser on Sunday afternoon. Saturday morning was sad, cleaning out the refridgerator of food gone bad and taking care of the house… Had the pleasure of playing a gig and sleeping in a tent Saturday night in Todd, NC for my dear old friends’ birthday party. Circles of musicians pickin’ til the wee hours of the morning. Friday, I had a wonderful breakfast at Maggies and several of us went for a much needed hike over at Cedarock Park. Thursday was the night of the amazing hurricane sunset, and Wednesday, I had a lovely birthday breakfast with Tonya, got to sit with Elm for several hours in the coffee shop, had a lovely Al-Anon meeting, then had dinner with Bruce.
This week I am slowing things down, cleaning up, and being in the moment – even when I’m busy beavering. I tend to get so caught up in doing, that I don’t take time to just be/observe/breathe. At therapy this week, we talked about taking things one day at a time and the courage to be assertive about my needs/desires. My ability to sit still and “meditate” is near impossible (at least for now) and so I’ve realized that walking meditation might be exactly what I can do. I go for a walk through the woods early every morning. It is grounding, literally. This week I made a playlist of music and while walking, I simply say in my mind, “right… left… right… left…” When I lose track, I just go back to “right… left… right… left…” I enjoy that walk so much. (Walking playlist: https://tinyurl.com/AutumnLeavesPlaylist)
For therapy next week, I am beginning more self-awareness work around forgiveness… Learning to forgive has to start with my mother and I am not looking forward to this delving process. I worry that my relationships and people I attract into my life represent challenges mirroring childhood challenges… refusing forgiveness of myself and holding people to extremely high standards, without really being able to see a human functioning best they can.. In some ways, if I am to grow and live the life I desire, my magnet needs to switch gears, toward the other pole, for more balance. We will begin doing EMDR again I am sure, part of me REALLY does not want to get into it – but the more intuitive part of me knows that I must if I want to lift the burden of resentment and use that eviction of weight to enjoy fully the potential light-weight exuberance of life. No matter what one’s circumstances, hungry or well-fed, the choice to see life from a place of abundance versus scarcity is always an option. We get to choose. I’m walking toward the choice of abundance – even in the face of adversity. I have learned that I cannot do the justice work for which I am so impassioned without first finding justice for myself. Thank you Al-Anon and Melody Beattie.
#LivingQueryOfTheWeek : What makes you smile no matter what?
For me, some are: butterflies, the Moon (especially when she returns from the shadow), watching dogs swim, splashing in the rain, baby ducks, train whistle at night, old cars, old songs that remind me of my grandparents, and singing harmonies with my friends.
Alrighty then, UPCOMING SHOWS: