Musician devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage

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TuesDay NewsDay Vol. 2 Issue 10, August 6, 2019

TuesDay NewsDay Vol. 2 Issue 10, August 6, 2019

#WeeklySongSeries video:
Facebook Weekly Song Series Video!

Quote: Heaven is appreciation of what we realize we could’ve lost, but didn’t.

I said this the other day in reverence to the fact that I was walking again – hadn’t gone for a walk in 10 weeks, since May 16th. A real walk. It truly is magnificent and sacred to walk again. I’ve learned so many lessons through the healing of my ankle since this surgery. Namely, how active I really am and how hard it is to ask for help. Embracing both and getting out there again! I never really did sit that still… but now I have to learn how to cook for myself again. Falling out of that habit needs to be remedied! (Maybe I’ll get a multi-pot of my own!)

Song: Catch the Wind – Donovan Catch the Wind by Donovan
How it feels to be the wind.

Dedication: This installment is dedicated to all of the amazing humans who’ve supported my music over the past few months while I make Tuesday videos of the songs on my album! Thank you to Ransom, Bruce, Christine, Robert, the Tuesday night jazz crew, Jeff, Cindy, Austin, Andy, Crystal, Tim, Spencer, Eric, and Mark!

Dear Humans, Well, I’m sitting here above the Haw River in my favorite spot at Cup 22 coffee shop. It’s been quite some time since I have written a newsletter! So much has happened since May 29th! So many shows, events, happenings, and opportunities! There is so much, I am so grateful for all I’ve been able to accomplish and do while this healing journey has been going on! (Still healing, but moving with much less pain, more discomfort than anything.) Busy beaver status is as follows:

  • May 16th surgery
  • Last full newsletter May 29th
  • Weekly Al-Anon and Sponsor meetings
  • I celebrated 1 year of my name change, Anita Lorraine MOORE in the house!
  • I taught a Summer course with ACC – it was an online course, I had 27 students and most of them did very well
  • At Otter and Elk, the new gift/general sundries store in Saxapahaw, I’ve been doing two-hour tarot reading sessions, even doing couples readings!
    Sewing has come into my life as a way to also earn money for the album! I’ve been hemming curtains, pants, dresses, making pillow shams… the list is ever growing!
    The Tuesday #SurrenderingToTheSacred weekly video series has come to an end and I am going to be compiling all of them and putting them together on YouTube, hopefully, a little video concert!
    Recording in the studio with Mark has transformed my attitude about recording. While we have had to work around our schedules, the songs we’ve finished so far are absolutely magical. I’ve added three-part harmonies to several songs; we’ve added some la la las and oooos to some. There are some haunting sounds, some happy, some ethereal and some heartbreaking sounds coming out of our work together. I had no idea the potential for my songs and will take this into consideration in my future (and current) song writing.
  • We’ve reached over half-way to the fundraising goal! Check out the fundraiser here, where you can read the story about how Surrendering To The Sacred came to be born:

      • I truly can’t thank all of you enough for your generous donations and your support of this amazing project. When this album is finished, I can’t wait to share it with you!
  • Physical therapy has been an ongoing, weekly endeavor after the doctor okayed my healing process. Brad and Margaret at Kernodle Clinic in Burlington (in fact, the whole crew over there of physical therapists) have been wonderful and I enjoy going. The process of working an ankle after micro fracture surgery has been fascinating.
  • We moved! Next door! My roommate and I moved to the house next door in Saxapahaw and are super happy with the new set-up. Pepita the cat likes it too!
  • Counseling sessions have been few and far between since my therapist has been on vacation. Luckily she’s back and I am grateful to have been able to go see her last week. Living life is better for me knowing I have someone objective and confidential I can speak with about what’s going on in my life, heart, and mind. I think everyone should have a counselor. Mental health is the most important thing in our lives aside from our physical health. Through my therapy, I have learned to prioritize my self-care and to exercise boundaries in a healthy and honoring way with myself and with others. I have also learned that I have come a long way and with the help of the Sacred Spirit within me, resilience and that it is good to feel proud of my accomplishments (when I can remember them.) *yay*
  • This fall, I will be officiating at least one, if not two weddings. I LOVE marrying people. When a dear friend asked me to become an officiant to marry him and his wife, I was reluctant, mostly because of my tenuous relationship with “God”. Now, I am filled with gratitude to have agreed to his request. The Sacredness of Union is so beautiful. I’m honored to be a part of people’s matrimony, it’s a priceless joy to me.
  • Next week, I start my 10th year with Democracy Matters. I’ll have 14-15 interns to train in professional rabble-rousing on their campuses. This year I will be working with students at SUNY Purchase, Univ Georgia Athens, North Carolina Central University, University of Florida – Gainesville, Guilford College, NC State, New College of Florida, Gettysburg College, George Washington University, Roanoke College, Simmons University, and Ramapo College.
  • The following week, I begin teaching my 3rd semester at Alamance Community College teaching Critical Thinking. I will have up to four classes (depending on which ones fill up).
  • Next week I go for my 12th week checkup with the doctor to check on my ankle! I’m looking forward to checking in and showing him how far I’ve come and to see if I’m on the right track. I still can’t jump or take off running or kick (no swimming) or do all the yoga poses… My range of motion has greatly improved, but it’s not yet at 100%. SOON!!

So that’s it for the crazy updates! I look forward to writing and sharing with y’all on Tuesdays again! Upcoming shows are listed below!

  • August 18th – Opening for Paperhand Puppet Theatre! – 6:10pm @ Forest Theater, Chapel Hill
  • Songwriter Showcase w/Tim Smith @ Imbibe, Chapel Hill, NC
  • EmCeeing Blue Bear Music Festival, Todd, NC
  • September 10th – Opening for Rickolus (all the way from sunny Jacksonville, Florida touring with his new album “Archways”!) – @ The Cave, Chapel Hill
  • September 14th – Playing for the Furry Friends Benefit (details TBA)


#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – Have you read any of Toni Morrison’s books?

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“Darlene” – final song release tonight ♥️

“Darlene” (link to FB video here)~ last (15th) song on my upcoming album: #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ This one is the most difficult to sing, but necessary for my growth and for this album to be complete. I thank my grandparents for being my safety when there was none elsewhere. I thank my sister for her brave soul. I thank the Sacred Spirit within me for shining when nothing else was lit.

Please consider donating to my album, 5% of all donations go to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.)

To donate, visit:


Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me.

$40 = 1 hour in the studio! $5 = gas back and forth to the studio! It all helps!

Drink water, be peaceful, be grateful.

Lucky timing today. 11:11

My amazing grandparents at lunch yesterday. I am so thankful for them, in so many countless and deep ways.

Me as a small-sized.

Learning to fly.

Embracing my inner/outer goddess. Artwork by world-renowned body painters, Scott Fray and Madelyn Greco. ♥️

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Forgotten to Remember: A Poem at Dusk

I have forgotten to tell you my name
You may have seen me through the window
The shop windows after the shop has closed
dreaming of outside from where you’re looking in
the dreams of my childhood are kept in the back
behind a secret latch,
a secret doorway
Through which would I let wrong ones in and keep right ones out

There’s an old man playing a pedal steel to the sound of my tears
There’s a farmer growing the crops with the wetness of my tears
There’s a child painting the forest chasms of my green eyes with my tears
There’s a sleeping ancestor dreaming of waking in the caves dripping with my tears

I have forgotten to remember my name before I was me
You may have searched the stars for to understand my longing
Coming in from the cold, I wrap inside my soft sweater, stoke the fire within, and capture the memories of smoke in my hair

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It’s Just Like Love…

…to come and go.

And open me up

Like the steam on the snow..

“Just Like Love” ~ 12th song on my upcoming album: #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ This one’s about loving ~ with one foot out the door, fear, ships in the night, massive intensity and perfect imperfections.

If you like what you hear, please consider donating!

#WeeklySongSeries Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me.

$40 = 1 hour in the studio! Please donate! $5 = gas back and forth to the studio! Or biscuits!

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#WeeklySongSeries 11!!

Hey yall!

Tonight’s song is the 11th on the upcoming album #SurrenderingToTheSacred and it’s entitled, “Sweeter Than Falling” w/Tim Smith on the piano! Here’s the video link:

If you like what you hear, please consider donating!

Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me.

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July 1st… Journal today and Khalil Gibran

Monday… July 1st

Today, right now, I feel peaceful. I am sitting on the couch with my coffee, grey cashmere sweater score from the thrift store, tons of reading material and my ankle propped up on ice. This whole process of surgery and healing has taught me so much I never really understood – how important the pause really is. The caring for your body in a way that reflects that you ACTUALLY care about what happens to it and how it functions. It’s unbelievable to me that I went so long without really taking care of this ankle, or thinking about this at all… the life of childhood sexual abuse survivors perhaps – but I’ll only speak of my own experience. I think back and see so many unspoken, unseen barriers to recognizing the problem. I never want to be that distracted and oblivious again in my life. Therapy, Al-Anon, music, and most of all that Divine resilience spark from somewhere within me (and us all, right?) has put me in this place of submission. I know I’ll be taken care of. What a privileged feeling?

Right now, my mind goes to the families on the border of our country, the refugees trying to find a safe place, a home, the war-torn families of people across this world who truly DON’T know that they’ll be taken care of. Sitting here, I truly don’t know what to do about that. Is there something to be done? Is there nothing to be done? I can’t take on the weight of the world alone. How is it that my conscience (I’m teaching about conscience and morality in my Critical Thinking class this week.) is so heavy from the knowledge of what is happening around me but also the feeling of being incapable of doing anything about it. Is that not the essence of trauma? Am I wrong that everything will be taken care of? Is this a false sense of security in some unseen force? When I have been abused in the past, I didn’t know what to do so I froze and allowed it to happen until is was over and I could escape. Some don’t escape. My escape was in my mind, as my body was being invaded. What of right now? Is my escape the comfort of my mind since there is this seemingly limited amount of impact I can make on the atrocities of this world? (I made 74.50 Friday night performing to send to the Border relief organizations sending lawyers and food/water/proper care to those families.). It seems like so little… I curiously don’t feel shame. That I am proud of, however there is guilt – the healthy spark to do something to rectify wrong-doings comes from guilt. I didn’t create the system in which we live, yet as I live and breath, I benefit and continue to perpetuate its eventuality.

Are we all going through trauma right now, on a cellular and spiritual level right now, if not physical (since it’s all connected)? The world feels to me to be chaotic and mean, and while I sit here with my coffee, it’s hard not to think of all those who are unsafe and literally grasping for their lives.

From therapy, I learned that many truths can be simultaneously existent – the ever-present paradox – the both/and – not simply the limiting either/or. Literally, I believe this is the only mindset which can release me from my own rambling, concerned yet paralyzed state. Also, it’s the only perspective which can shed light on numerous co-existing perspectives of abundance which are hard to see while thinking about the suffering of this world. I never just think about the suffering, I FEEL it. Everyone can. It is impossible not to (even if you are unconscious of it, it impacts you. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)) – it is all recognizable and at times, insidiously invisible. So why is it that the joys and the love and the light is so hard to absorb and hold? Again, that shift in lens is the antidote for the tunnel vision. A trusting that somehow, those positivities are truly out there in and amongst the negativities. …and if you venture out to the furthest reaches, perhaps those challenges (in hindsight) give us the tools we need to survive.

In an attempt at gross summation and perhaps even over-simplification – maybe we can cradle in our palms these painful knowings and trust that they are providing insights about how to better live, how much more aware I can be to not only see and recognize, but to act upon those recognitions to create a more just world in one fluid, unnoticeable and perpetual movement with the intention of good?

“On Good and Evil” – Kahlil Gibran (I find deep feeling insights every time I open The Prophet.)

“And one of the elders of the city said, Speak to us of Good and Evil. And he answered:

Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts it drinks even of dead waters.

You are good when you are one with yourself.

Yet when you are not one with yourself, you are not evil.

For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house.

And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sing not to the bottom.

You are good when you strive to give of yourself.

Yet you are not evil when you seek to gain for yourself.

For when you strive to gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast.

Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, “Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance.”

For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root.

You are good when you are fully awake in your speech,

Yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose.

And even in the stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue.

You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.

Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.

Even those who limp go not backward.

But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.

You are good in countless ways, and yo are not evil when you are not good,

You are only loitering and sluggard.

Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles.

In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you. [I am brought to tears at this moment reading this line again.]

But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest.

And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore.

But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, “Wherefore are you slow and halting?”

For the truly good ask not the naked, “Where is your garment.” Nor the house less, “Where has befallen your house?”

Another memory I heard singing in my ears while typing this, “I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, he said to me, “You must not ask for so much.” I saw a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, “Hey, why not ask for more? Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir …I have tried, in my way, to be free.”

– Bird on a Wire, by Leonard Cohen.

Nothing is left unresolved, only momentary feigns of understanding…