anitalorrainemoore

Musician devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage


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Forgotten to Remember: A Poem at Dusk

I have forgotten to tell you my name
You may have seen me through the window
The shop windows after the shop has closed
dreaming of outside from where you’re looking in
the dreams of my childhood are kept in the back
behind a secret latch,
a secret doorway
Through which would I let wrong ones in and keep right ones out

There’s an old man playing a pedal steel to the sound of my tears
There’s a farmer growing the crops with the wetness of my tears
There’s a child painting the forest chasms of my green eyes with my tears
There’s a sleeping ancestor dreaming of waking in the caves dripping with my tears

I have forgotten to remember my name before I was me
You may have searched the stars for to understand my longing
Coming in from the cold, I wrap inside my soft sweater, stoke the fire within, and capture the memories of smoke in my hair


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It’s Just Like Love…

…to come and go.

And open me up

Like the steam on the snow..

https://youtu.be/gNnA2SLbDgk

“Just Like Love” ~ 12th song on my upcoming album: #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ This one’s about loving ~ with one foot out the door, fear, ships in the night, massive intensity and perfect imperfections.

If you like what you hear, please consider donating!

gofundme.com/anitalorrainemooresacredalbumrecording

#WeeklySongSeries Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me.

$40 = 1 hour in the studio! Please donate! $5 = gas back and forth to the studio! Or biscuits!


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#WeeklySongSeries 11!!

Hey yall!

Tonight’s song is the 11th on the upcoming album #SurrenderingToTheSacred and it’s entitled, “Sweeter Than Falling” w/Tim Smith on the piano! Here’s the video link: https://www.facebook.com/anitalorrainemusic/videos/429157767941145/

If you like what you hear, please consider donating!

gofundme.com/anitalorrainemooresacredalbumrecording

Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me.


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July 1st… Journal today and Khalil Gibran

Monday… July 1st

Today, right now, I feel peaceful. I am sitting on the couch with my coffee, grey cashmere sweater score from the thrift store, tons of reading material and my ankle propped up on ice. This whole process of surgery and healing has taught me so much I never really understood – how important the pause really is. The caring for your body in a way that reflects that you ACTUALLY care about what happens to it and how it functions. It’s unbelievable to me that I went so long without really taking care of this ankle, or thinking about this at all… the life of childhood sexual abuse survivors perhaps – but I’ll only speak of my own experience. I think back and see so many unspoken, unseen barriers to recognizing the problem. I never want to be that distracted and oblivious again in my life. Therapy, Al-Anon, music, and most of all that Divine resilience spark from somewhere within me (and us all, right?) has put me in this place of submission. I know I’ll be taken care of. What a privileged feeling?

Right now, my mind goes to the families on the border of our country, the refugees trying to find a safe place, a home, the war-torn families of people across this world who truly DON’T know that they’ll be taken care of. Sitting here, I truly don’t know what to do about that. Is there something to be done? Is there nothing to be done? I can’t take on the weight of the world alone. How is it that my conscience (I’m teaching about conscience and morality in my Critical Thinking class this week.) is so heavy from the knowledge of what is happening around me but also the feeling of being incapable of doing anything about it. Is that not the essence of trauma? Am I wrong that everything will be taken care of? Is this a false sense of security in some unseen force? When I have been abused in the past, I didn’t know what to do so I froze and allowed it to happen until is was over and I could escape. Some don’t escape. My escape was in my mind, as my body was being invaded. What of right now? Is my escape the comfort of my mind since there is this seemingly limited amount of impact I can make on the atrocities of this world? (I made 74.50 Friday night performing to send to the Border relief organizations sending lawyers and food/water/proper care to those families.). It seems like so little… I curiously don’t feel shame. That I am proud of, however there is guilt – the healthy spark to do something to rectify wrong-doings comes from guilt. I didn’t create the system in which we live, yet as I live and breath, I benefit and continue to perpetuate its eventuality.

Are we all going through trauma right now, on a cellular and spiritual level right now, if not physical (since it’s all connected)? The world feels to me to be chaotic and mean, and while I sit here with my coffee, it’s hard not to think of all those who are unsafe and literally grasping for their lives.

From therapy, I learned that many truths can be simultaneously existent – the ever-present paradox – the both/and – not simply the limiting either/or. Literally, I believe this is the only mindset which can release me from my own rambling, concerned yet paralyzed state. Also, it’s the only perspective which can shed light on numerous co-existing perspectives of abundance which are hard to see while thinking about the suffering of this world. I never just think about the suffering, I FEEL it. Everyone can. It is impossible not to (even if you are unconscious of it, it impacts you. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)) – it is all recognizable and at times, insidiously invisible. So why is it that the joys and the love and the light is so hard to absorb and hold? Again, that shift in lens is the antidote for the tunnel vision. A trusting that somehow, those positivities are truly out there in and amongst the negativities. …and if you venture out to the furthest reaches, perhaps those challenges (in hindsight) give us the tools we need to survive.

In an attempt at gross summation and perhaps even over-simplification – maybe we can cradle in our palms these painful knowings and trust that they are providing insights about how to better live, how much more aware I can be to not only see and recognize, but to act upon those recognitions to create a more just world in one fluid, unnoticeable and perpetual movement with the intention of good?

“On Good and Evil” – Kahlil Gibran (I find deep feeling insights every time I open The Prophet.)

“And one of the elders of the city said, Speak to us of Good and Evil. And he answered:

Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts it drinks even of dead waters.

You are good when you are one with yourself.

Yet when you are not one with yourself, you are not evil.

For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house.

And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sing not to the bottom.

You are good when you strive to give of yourself.

Yet you are not evil when you seek to gain for yourself.

For when you strive to gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast.

Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, “Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance.”

For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root.

You are good when you are fully awake in your speech,

Yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose.

And even in the stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue.

You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.

Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.

Even those who limp go not backward.

But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.

You are good in countless ways, and yo are not evil when you are not good,

You are only loitering and sluggard.

Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles.

In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you. [I am brought to tears at this moment reading this line again.]

But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest.

And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore.

But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, “Wherefore are you slow and halting?”

For the truly good ask not the naked, “Where is your garment.” Nor the house less, “Where has befallen your house?”

Another memory I heard singing in my ears while typing this, “I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, he said to me, “You must not ask for so much.” I saw a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, “Hey, why not ask for more? Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir …I have tried, in my way, to be free.”

– Bird on a Wire, by Leonard Cohen.

Nothing is left unresolved, only momentary feigns of understanding…


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10th song video release tonight!

“At The End Of The Day” ~ 10th song on my upcoming album: #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ If you like what you hear, please consider donating!

Went back into the studio last week, magical stuff happening!

(sorry y’all, got caught up in grading papers I forgot to post at 9 o’clock!)

#WeeklySongSeries Thank you ALL for your support of this music, it means the world to me. gofundme.com/anitalorrainemooresacredalbumrecording

Remember forgiveness, sharing, and equal access to life, real liberty and happiness.

You are beautiful and a work of art. We ALL deserve this: #SurvivingToThriving #Overcome #SurrenderingToTheSacred #SexualAbuseSurvivor #MusicSavedMe #SelfLove #Determination #HelpFromOthers #Therapy #AlAnon #ChooseToLiveYourDream

Thank you @ChristineClifton for videoing!

#lookMaNoCrutches

Facebook post with video!!


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What you can DO about the humanitarian border crisis:

Yall I am sick as fuck about the border crisis. This is abomniable and makes me want to go there and protest with my body and soul. I dont have the resources to do this and it’s breaking my heart. Same as the Standing Rock pipeline, indigenous and brown people are suffering because of our lifestyles and silent compliance (and racism, corporatocracy, patriarchy and exploitative capitalism.) I just ate at Fiesta Grill the other day and here we are, eating Mexican food while migrant families are being torn apart and subjected to trauma at the border of our country.. I wanted to know what I can do since I cant go to the border and found several resources I am sharing here. We can NOT let those in power let this go on. Silence IS compliance. Please use these resources and CALL YOUR REPS, hell go VISIT THEM IN RALIEGH. I’ll organize a lobby day. Message me and we’ll make a plan. Here are the other ways to help I’ve found:

Donate to orgs on the ground: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/kidsattheborder

Other ways to help: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/06/how-you-can-fight-family-separation-at-the-border.html

What you need to know and SHARE about what’s happening right now:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwixxdKm94TjAhUSUa0KHWHjDekQzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fslate.com%2Fnews-and-politics%2F2019%2F06%2Ftrump-border-crisis-how-to-help.html&psig=AOvVaw0CTQfi-T_8vr1ckCkukpgu&ust=1561562375271146

Also, if you have some kind a theoretical argument that you want to reply to this post as a response, save it. I don’t have time to read about your opinion. Go be complacent somewhere else.

https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2018/12/01/USAT/7cb1bcd2-698e-4e2a-b29b-6cc998cb159c-VPC_TIAJUANA_SHELTERS.00_00_49_08.Still002.jpg?quality=10


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Sacred Days – Fundraiser story

https://www.gofundme.com/f/anitalorrainemooresacredalbumrecording

Hello my dearest Community,

Literally all my life people have said to me, “Anita, seriously, why aren’t you pursuing music and singing professionally?” This year, I am doing just that (and more…) and started the recording phase of my first full-length album entitled Surrendering To The Sacred Demos .  I’m so excited about this project and your help is key in making it real!  Last summer with everyone’s help, I quit my Summer job waiting tables and I completed all the demos (listen by clicking the link above) and finished up the songs themselves. Then I started working in the fall with my 9th year with Democracy Matters, mentoring young political organizers to get big money out of politics and this past Spring, I also started teaching Critical Thinking at Alamance Community College. 

I really don’t want to badger people all the time, so I don’t send out emails… basically ever.  However, if everyone I know donated $5, I could most definitely cover most production and recording costs. Facebook only reaches some folks I know and this blog is more personal, I hope. 

So here’s the breakdown:  It’s $40 an hour for recording in the studio and with production/reproduction it adds up to about $5200+ for the project.  I’ve raised about $1520 so far over the last 2 months!  I’ve been working extra hard to save and performing shows. I’ve been putting all I make into a jar!  I even started another side-gig reading tarot cards (another side-passion of mine since I was a teenager) to raise extra dough.  

If you can help, You have until the album is in production to donate! 

5% of the fundraiser goes to https://www.rainn.org/  As a sexual abuse and incest survivor myself, I have dedicated this album to all the brave people who have come forward in recent years to stand up for themselves and others, in hopes to emancipate our world from the same violent oppression.  My name change from Kinney to Moore (my grandparents’), June 26, 2018, is a direct result of these experiences. Amazing what’s in a name.  

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

To receive blog updates, please signup here: 
https://mailchi.mp/1f515eb6b7d0/anitalorrainemusic

So much love yall. This last year has been transformational.  Through therapy and self-healing work I have been called to encapsulate my life experience through the making of art, music and this sacred album, thriving and growing into a whole, creative human.

I thank all of you for your support and love,

Anita Lorraine Moore