anitalorraine.com

Musician and Activist devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage


Leave a comment

TuesDayNewsDay on Wednesday! Vol 2, Issue 7 ~ 2/20/19 Spring Equinox today!

A Poem Journey for my Bear Clan:

Foggy, Southern Appalachian mountain top

Jasper, 1st gear

February lightning

Rolling Thunder drive

Pouring down rain

Cold

Horses in twilight

Blue barns, old, steady and true

Left on Cut Off road

“Looks like it could be a state line…”

Going out for ice cream and cigarettes

Coulda swore I saw a ghost

Run across the dirt road

lightning lit up the ditches

Up on Talc Mine, going real slow

Up and up, around and down I go

Mimosa Hill, Hawthorne Drive

Ruts in the road make for a bumpy ride

Warm asphalt hisses warm, grey vapors of smoke

Right now and for weeks, with grace

My inner voice has been replaced

By a relentless and blissful singer

If I fall for a tune,

I’m hook, line, and sinker

She sings and sings, on into the blue

Love is the Law and Temporary Tattoo

Black Crow and all Joni’s road songs,

oh how she sings of you.

My sweet song bird, she sings:

“Make adventure from everything you do

Then nothing’s a chore

All has a joyful hue

The smell of rain makes me smile

And You know I’d drive more than a country mile…

To get ice cream and cigarettes for You.”

Dedication: Those who’ve lost someone this past week. Several of my friends have lost loved ones (furry and human) this week and I send this to them with love.

Dear Humans,

Pepita is sitting in my lap today as I write. There is much to say, yet where to start escapes me… My road trip was amazing. It was a much needed and wonderful escape from Alamance County and excuse to explore, I will always oblige. I left here and went to Jasper, Georgia. Left there and went to Florence, Alabama. Left there and went to Little Rock, Arkansas. Left there and went to Chattanooga, Tennessee. Left there and went back home to Saxapahaw.

“Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life.” I read that on a magnet somewhere… I am so blessed to have so many supportive, creative, driven, and talented friends in this world. It is an honor to be in the company of them. Timmi and Bea Bea and Little Gwennie Bear, Charles, Bryan, Joel, Emily and Meg. Time and distance have kept me from these folks, yet both time and distance make for sweet, sweet reunions. I already look forward to next time.

Onward!

Yesterday, I didn’t finish my newsletter because there was so much to do! Returned Sunday night, saw the Spectacles and the Tim Smith band play at the Station by surprise. Prepped and taught class on Monday. Tuesday had therapy (hella intense this week), caught up with Democracy Matters work and taught a lobbying workshop for two schools in Greensboro. That went really well and I left feeling accomplished and excited for my students’ experience and our upcoming lobbying in Raleigh in a few weeks. Today was sort of a catch up day as well, writing this newsletter, catching up with a few folks, then went to Al-Anon. Today, Al-Anon won. I left realizing many things including a re-acknowledgment of the vast amounts of healing I am still working through. Affirmed that I have come a long way in this journey, yet further there is still to go. Patterns have begun to emerge in my realizations and one is the pursuit of unavailability. The reasons for this are immersed in my childhood and damnit, I’m so tired of keeping on finding out about how my childhood made me into the person I am today when I fuck up (or feel fucked up…). Childhood sexual abuse and abandonment have led to some serious patterns of behavior including the pursuit of things/people that/who aren’t attainable and feeling to intrinsically unaware of who I am without the context of how someone else feels about me… People in Al-Anon today spoke of this experience and all I could do was sit there, brimming with tears, amazing at how much I related to them, mourning the child I was never allowed to be. Mourning the girl who has always been responsible and reliable, so much so that imperfection is not an option and holding everyone else to a lower standard while still being disappointed they can’t be perfect… What a perfectly bewildering cycle.

So today, on the first day of Spring, it is a privilege to look back over the last yearly cycle to see how patterns emerge. Here’s to hoping that learning can come from the review. A while back, I may or may not have mentioned this, but I made a pact to myself to no longer going to chase any human. My biggest pitfalls, romantically, have been losing myself, my boundaries, not ever having a sense of wholeness and failing to stand up straight in my own shoes – codependency emerges. All this is to say, fear, it crept inside and showed me reminders of who I used to be and who I am becoming. Parts of this picture are bright and full of potential. Some parts are shadowy and create depth beyond the apparent dimension. I like to compare my experiences to the Loch Ness where Nessie is said to live… There’s a mythical creature living in there, you may never see, but she scares the living daylights out of you and you never know when she’ll rear her head until suddenly, she’s under your boat, Moby Dick style, letting you know under no uncertain terms that she is still there, still in charge, and could drown you in the murky depths of the sea.

So, upon realizing today how grateful I am for the steps taken to occupy this space, right here right now, I am also beginning to know that I cannot date until I feel ready and whole in my own Self. My priorities are 1. Swimming with Nessie and letting her show me the darkness, so that I may emerge shimmering. 2. Building a solid foundational understanding of who I am, what I need, what I want, what I will not tolerate, what I want to accomplish, where I want to improve and which direction I want to grow. 3. Publishing Anita Kinney’s poetry “Who I Used To Be” and recording the album #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ Last but certainly not least, 4. Healing this ankle and hiking as much as I can barefoot and connecting to this Earth in a meaningful and spiritually fulfilling way, without pain.

Well… that was intense and vague as hell. This blog is therapy for me – I’m glad I have this outlet as an option along with journaling, tarot, ritual, poetry, and sleep.

Upcoming Shows:

March 31st – private bday party with Crystal Bright

May 18,19 – Glendonfest Location, time TBA

May 28th – Lucky 32 in Greensboro, evening show with Crystal Bright

TBA – Leveneleven in Greensboro – working out details

TBA – Hot Tin Roof – ” ”

July 27th – STARworks in Star NC with Pete Pawsey


1 Comment

TuesDayNewsDay Vol2, Issue 6 – March 12 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol2, Issue 6 – March 12 2019

New poetry book and album plans! Road Trip! Shows to come!

Quote: “W.C. Handy I’m rich and I’m Fay… and I’m not familiar with what you play but I get such strong impressions of your hay day…. Looking up and down old Beale Street… Ghosts of dark town society Come right out of the bricks at me…” Joni Mitchell, Furry Sings The Blues (Hejira album – my favorite and top favorite driving album)

Song: Duh… Live, studio version of the above… with the legendary Herbie Hancock https://youtu.be/IGJyjFhCgkE

Dedication: This week’s dedication is to all those things in this world which make us uncomfortable. Those incidents that make us want to scream out in frustration. Those moments when we’re scared and frozen, in the throes of our limbic system’s natural response to fear, abuse, hurt, pain. Those people from whom we are so different and distant. Those chords which beg to be played after a dissonant note… Our lessons are all learned in these things. Our triumphs are all remnants of moments of struggle. I would wish nothing but for what I’ve had, though not all has been easy, all has simply been. To all the foreign ladybugs, yellow jackets, know-it-alls, freezing nights with no heat, hunger, rape, bigotry, hatred, death, I dedicate this post to you all. Thank you for what you teach. Thank you for being the parts of our lives without which we would know no joy.

Dear Humans,

NEWS: As you may have read last week, the birthing of the “Who I Used To Be” Poetry Life book and #SurrenderingToTheSacred album download card is in the stages of infancy (I.E. I am compiling all of my poetry from before I became Anita Moore and publishing a book complete with my music, drawings, (hopefully pop-ups!, paintings, creations etc.). It will be like the old Me is going to be able to be held in hand, appreciated, honored, and shared as an example of resilience and strength to overcome sexual abuse, poverty, abandonment, and a lifetime of shame and learned behaviors of a secret survivor. I sing to share my story with the world. This project is a culmination of a new chapter. Literally. More to come. I’ll be sharing some of my work intermittently during this process. Some of my poetry goes back as far as 1998 (so far, I haven’t gone through all of it) That’s over 20 years of poetry; an amazing personal, over-time comparison of my personality and expression… a unique vision into a person through one of the most sacred art forms… poetry, song, and time.

Today, I write to you from the outskirts of the Northern Alabama town of Florence, just a stone’s throw from the Natchez Trace (one of several National Parkways ((Blue Ridge Parkway is another))). This trace is a road, once a pathway to go back North after having brought goods down to the Gulf of Mexico to trade or sell. The trace was mostly abandoned after the steamboat came into use. My host has much knowledge of the area having grown up here and tomorrow I head further West through Memphis (the song above is based on that town) and on to Little Rock, Arkansas. He has taught me a little about shooting a bow and arrow and much about life as a single, 80 something year old man. Life isn’t easy, but he’s in a beautiful spot and I am appreciative of his inviting me to come visit. Staying in a tiny guest cabin is lovely – there is privacy, a bucket for peeing, cedar smells abound and at least 50 of those non-ladybug invasive spotted beetles. If only the birds knew to come into this room, they could feast upon the critters which are en masses crawling in the warm, Western window before sunset.

These last few days have been inspiring and have provided an actual vision into the past of American music only (for me) heard on original 45s and LPs and on the radio. So much music has been recorded within a 30 mile radius of where I’m sitting. Muscle Shoals recording studio and Fame recording studios… What a jaw-dropping and humbling experience to walk through the same rooms as the Swampers… to stand in the same recording space as Aretha Franklin, Willie Nelson, and Paul Simon… to touch the keys of the piano Cat Stevens played… to listen in the same Studio A control room of Fame studios (Studio B is under construction) which have shaped much of our memory of American soul, blues, and rock music. I’m speechless and will be processing how amazing this is for a while. My dreams of recording an album are vibrating inside my heart. *buzz buzz buzz*

Last night I played in a circle of old men with guitars, bass, dobro, and harmonica. It was fun listening to them play a lot of the old songs I learned growing up from my grandparents’ day. I played “I Love” (little baby ducks) by Tom T Hall and they lost their shit. (How’s this “little girl” know all these old songs… the surprise is always amusing.) *hahaha*

This road trip is going well so far and it’s good to open up my old road atlas and head out into the morning sun. Back home, from the road, more shows are coming together and I will be posting those when they are confirmed.

Teaching my first semester at ACC has been a learning and eye-opening experience. I tried not to build expectations about who my students would be or how the class would go. I didn’t expect for a significant number of my students to be failing, simple because they’re not turning in their work. Expressing my concern with my director, she assured me that sometimes you just get a class that mostly disappoints you and she was sorry this was my first classroom semester experience. I have been contemplating and writing about how to accept what my responsibilities are and to learn to expect the students to bring to the table their part as well (it would be easy for me to take the blame and wonder what I’d done to cause them to fail.). Luckily, Al-Anon and therapy have given me some priceless tools to recognize my part and to honor other people’s parts – separately. Lucky me! So grateful for those lessons!

Speaking of therapy, a few weeks ago, I started taking a weekly (soon to be monthly) workshop on “Detoxing from toxic parent relationships”. (There’s a giant female blue jay outside the window perched on a tree… so beautiful.) In this workshop, we’re learning to be able to 1. Recognize toxic behavior and 2. How to (as objectively as possible) evaluate that behavior, externalize it, and take the appropriate response route without pulling the proverbial rope. This can be applied to all types of relationships, not just parents! I’ll fill in more once there’s more to share!

I’m about 3/5 of the way finished with my Spring Break road trip. Once I return, I’ll be heading to the surgeon to see about this MRI on my left ankle. There’s a tear and a radiologist is determining the extent of the damage this week. My 2019 focus is going to be healing this ankle, doing my best teaching, playing shows and practicing guitar. I will get back to my community activism when my ankle is healed. Right now I’m taking time to focus on getting right with my body and spirit – you can’t love and advocate for someone else when you haven’t learned how to fully love and advocate for yourself.

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – For what lessons through hardship are you most grateful? Can you name only one or can you think of many?

Upcoming Shows:

March 31st – private bday party with Crystal Bright

May 18,19 – Glendonfest Location, time TBA

May 28th – Lucky 32 in Greensboro, evening show with Crystal Bright

TBA – Leveneleven in Greensboro – working out details

TBA – Hot Tin Roof – ” ”

July 27th – STARworks in Star NC with Pete Pawsey

This week in pictures!

(Picture update to come when I have service!)


Leave a comment

The Muses Groove

The workshop today

This rhythm is rolling
rolling around inside my undulating chest
and heart
Sitting at this wooden table,
contemplating it not being real
and part of me
and part of you
and I’m not really touching it, it’s touching me.

The music changes, I dream of being a poet.
I dream of being who I am.

I dream of making music unabashedly humble,
grateful to share this gift with the Greats.

To only for a moment think of all those who laid the path before me,
those brave and enduring souls who, pebble by pebble, note by note, stroke by stroke, experience by heartbreakingly joyful, or painful, experience,
tapped in.

They tapped in, not out.
Some through Divine Spirit intervention,
some through straight up booze,
whatever the avenue, whatever the teacher,
it brought about my ancestors of music and word. They walked that road.

Creative muse lingers just outside our reach and we must take heed.
We must cook up that stew and be ready when the salt falls from the shelf to delightfully richen our slippery, sensuous, slimy, salubrious, sacred soup.
So thank you. Thank you greats. Thank you oldies, thank you newbies, thank you those who have yet to be born.
Thank you for learnin’ me to open up, stand up straight, be connected to the ground, and lift my head and sing – those notes are not mine, they are Ours.


Leave a comment

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2 Issue 5 Feb 19-20, 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2 Issue 5 Feb 19-20, 2019

Quote: “What’s the daily prescribed dose of happiness?” – Bruce Horvath, my dear friend and lovely, talented guitar player

Song: “His Eye is On The Sparrow” – Mahalia Jackson – This song makes me shiver and quake, all the reasons why I sing. “…because I’m happy. I sing because I’m free. His eye is on the little ole sparrow… and I know He watches me.”

Her Grace, Mahalia Jackson

Hey Humans, Dear Humans,

Tonight, I write to you having had a very long day and realized some important things in therapy today. Have you ever thought about your limiting beliefs and belief systems? I have begun to realize that these beliefs and systems systematically keep me from being successful. I mean successful in the broadest sense. Accomplishing my goals, following through with personal projects, making progress toward fulfillment via changing of habitual response to stimuli. I’m going to share with you some thoughts tonight that are very personal, admittedly vulnerable. The wonderful thing about that little troll/angel who speaks these statements inside my head is that she is shining light upon what I need to see to move and grow. Therapy today placed this task ahead of me, and what an appropriate day… The Moon in Virgo, opposition the Sun in Pisces. Naimanu James, one of my favorite astrologers suggested some tarot readings with certain questions and the two which spoke to me were, “What is floating up to the surface for me to tend to this full moon? Where in my life do I need to get more consistent in my cleansing and clearing practices?” My answers as of right now? What’s floated up in here? Realization and awareness of my own limiting beliefs! Where do I need more consistency in cleansing and clearing? Spiritual trust and guidance to release these limiting thoughts. I worked tonight to identify some ideas which bring me joy.

* Finishing my album and holding it in my hand – the actual vinyl record and sleeve!

* Performing my music with a band touring around at music-listening venues!

*Celebrating the end of the day with joy, pride and gratitude for having done a good job that day.

* Waking up in the morning excited about what I get to do that day.

* Sharing my life with someone who is encouraging, supportive, driven, funny, playful, considerate, passionate, talented, honest, open, communicative, justice-minded, fair, feminist, hard-working, dedicated, focused, organized, sexually fulfilling, thoughtful, healthy, sober, assertive, gentle, non-smoker, shares my love of music, non-snorer, independent, critical thinker, creative, cultured, spiritual, emotionally mature, self-aware, honors wildness, has impeccable follow-through, punctuality, good grammar, outdoor skills/knowledge, strong, sensitive, can sing/harmonize with me, magical!

(Why am I so afraid to put this out here? Afraid I’ll be judged by all the things I want in a person, an unfair list of qualities? Afraid I’ll never find this person? Afraid that I don’t live up to all of these ideals myself? Of course these are the reasons why I am afraid to share with the world my desires for a mate. Fear dictates what I am willing to share, so here goes. I’m doing it anyway in spite of my fears.)

So after making this list of ideas which bring me joy, I decided to start with the first one and list out my limiting beliefs about that idea. I am ASTOUNDED as I look at the PAGE – it is FULL. Also, there are tons of beliefs I am sure that I didn’t even think of which exist in my heart and brain that limit me and my success… Here are what I came up with just on one page:

What are my limiting beliefs about the idea of finishing my album and holding it in my hand – the actual record and sleeve? (Get ready.)

  • I can’t afford it right now.
  • If I don’t meet my deadline of June 26th, I’ll have failed everyone who donated money last year to start this project.
  • My music isn’t good enough and I don’t deserve to succeed at music.
  • Music isn’t important work (compared to social justice work or running for office and “making an impact”).
  • I’m not pretty enough to be famous/well known.
  • My guitar skills are totally mediocre and no one wants to play with me because I’m no good.
  • My songs, no one wants to hear them because they’re too emotional, simple, repetitive, basic, boring, shitty… I play them different every time.
  • My message of survival will be drowned out and no one will hear me or what I want them to hear.
  • I won’t inspire anyone.
  • People would rather me play with my more talented friends than me alone.
  • I don’t have what it takes to record an album.
  • I’m not talented enough to record in a studio.
  • I’ll just be wasting my time.
  • I’ll feel ashamed I was only half-assed.
  • I could have been a better musician, but my lack of resources/money/support as a child taught me that I wasn’t important enough to pursue such lofty goals.
  • Even hard work doesn’t get poor people to success because the system is against them.

Wow. Just Wow. That’s not all, I could write for days the things that run through my mind… The blessing now is, I’m beginning to recognize these limiting beliefs and see them as such instead of TRUTH. I get to symbolically take that idea, place it in my hand, examine it and determine “Is this true?” “What information do I have to prove to the contrary?” “Would I tell my best friend any of this while she is pursuing her dreams?” “Why am I talking to myself this way?” THEN I get to answer those questions, transform those thoughts into learning opportunities, and move forward toward reaching my dream of making an album and touring with a band, and singing my music.

So there – some heavy, scary stuff I have shared here today, but it feels good to own it, even embarrassing. The good part about this is that I’m acknowledging that this is a process of learning. I was told today that once I get better at doing this work for myself of evaluating truth from limiting belief, I’ll be an even better musician.

So happy birthday to me, I am now officially 36 years old and this TuesDayNewsDay is coming out on a Wednesday. ❤

I drew the ace of cups (The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck) – how appropriate: (from Carrie Mallon a tarot reader I respect and love to read) The Ace of Cups can signify the onset of feeling-based experiences. This card can remind you to open your heart, to allow your emotional energy to move freely. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling without labeling it as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ This card often appears when we need to proceed with compassion and respect the signals our feelings are giving us.

Happy Pisces season to everyone, enjoy the emotions and flow. I am so far. 😉

Upcoming shows: on temporary hold for now until after I get this MRI for my ankle and go to an opthemologist about these eye spasms I’ve been having. I’m working on confirming and planning house concerts over the next two weeks then it’ll be Spring break and I’m going to Muscle Shoals, Alabama to see a good old friend and learn about one of the most famous music recording studios in the history of American music.

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – Identify a goal/dream for yourself that inspires joy for you. What can you do to make it happen?

This week in pictures:

Pete and I on our way to play a Valentines show in Star, NC. He’s driving his new car, Baby Angel, she wants to drive, I want to stop and take a photo of us in his new car. ❤Protesting this week inBurlington at Senator Rick Gunn’s office Giving a press conference about why we need to expand Medicaid in NC.Crocuses all confused and blooming at Pete’s house. Dinner I made for my new roommate. Reverence farms made the meatloaf… so good. Full of SAGE!


1 Comment

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2 Issue 4 Feb 12, 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2 Issue 4 Feb 12, 2019

Quote: To Maggie, “‘Glomp‘ v, to glomp, NOT sexual, it is the action of one person lovingly (and dramatically) attacking another with a hug. A glomp is often predatory and lies somewhere in the grey area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone. Example in real life, “A runs at B as if to bowl her over, but instead picks up B and spins her around while squeezing her tightly.” (Definition of glomp found on Urbandictionary.com) Maggie replies… “omg that’s a thing?! I’d flip someone over onto the ground.” (This was the hilarious outburst of the week, perhaps even month. I love Maggie. This is absolutely her worst nightmare. It’s my job to make sure that never happens, else she’ll “catch an assault charge.” PS scrolling through Urban dictionary is an alarming yet informative place to understand modern lingo. Often it’s hella sexist and misogynist but sometimes you find a gem, text it to your friend, and get to laugh for an hour.

Song: “Life Every Voice And Sing” – Feb 12, 1900 this song was first publicly performed! (Zinn Ed Project)

Dedication: Oasis Counseling in Burlington, NC. Seriously, this place has helped me to change my life. Just over a year ago, I started seeing a therapist there and began this journey of self-awareness, healing, and restorative work. I could not be more thankful. As I come up to my 36th birthday on the 20th, I’ve been called to remember how far I’ve come and how grateful I am for every brick in this road. (Yellow brick road, right?)

Dear Humans:

I’m eating leftover grits for lunch. Yummmm. You may wonder why I write this blog/newsletter. I write it for myself mostly, so I can have a mechanism to look back over the last week (or two weeks now and then) to review all that has happened and all that has been accomplished. Often, I forget how much I do… I have berated myself for being lazy or not ______ enough (insert descriptor here). I use this tool to remember everything, gives me a moment to reflect and share all I am proud of, working through, frustrated with and excited about. Last time I went through all the things I had done (that were in my calendar) and I was taken aback by how much two weeks could encompass! While moving, being sick, traveling, and helping Maggie move too. So here goes these last two weeks, in a run-on sentence. (I like those sometimes.)

Blocking one’s schedule, ever heard of that? Well I did that. It’s where you work in small chunks instead of randomly throughout the day. After 8+ years of working from home, I finally got that together, and thankfully so! I actually have time for lunch now! Two therapy appointments the last two weeks have helped me to realize just how *too* much I have on my schedule. Blocking off my time has helped slightly, but according to my values and passions, I have allowed very little time to what I feel the most passionate towards… that’s right. Music. However, to be fair, I have been moving for several weeks and had to travel weekend before last and also I was sick for almost a week. Give a girl a break! 😉 On the 1st, Bruce took me to the airport, my eyes have been doing this crazy thing where they randomly, and without my permission, spasm off to the left and leave me feeling swimmy and it sounds like I’m underwater for several minutes after… It happened twice before the NY trip and I decided that the less I drive, the better. Flying was odd with a stuffed nose and fear of eye spasms, but was successful nonetheless and then I had to drive from Newark to Albany, a 2.5 hour trip on top of it. Thank goodness for Trader Joe’s and chocolate chip cookies. While in New York, I taught at a national training conference and was in charge of about 90 people attending the event. The hotel’s water mane blew up and flooded the foyer, my immobilized boot got wet… and I learned afterward that some of my students were playing a racist card game thinking they were doing the world a favor by making fun of people and being smart asses. Had to nip that in the bud and though I couldn’t do anything about the flooding or hour long alarm that was going off (after midnight), I was content in knowing that very soon I’d be heading home to get in my own bed after it all was over and that 80 kids were going back to their campuses with a lot more training and passion than they’d had before. A CT state Senator and NY Congressman spoke as our keynotes and I was moved by their amazing stories. I also was able to fulfill my one guilty pleasure once a year by going to Forever 21 in Albany and basking in all the nonsense that is teenage style these days. I got a jean jacket for $12. Whooptidoo. 🙂

Arriving home from New York, a new friend picked me up from the airport and I giggled the whole way home, though tired, it is a blessing to be around those of similar humor. This person is definitely that! We laughed til I pee’d. Upon returning to my home, I was relieved and sighed as I hit the proverbial hay. That week, I continued moving, fixing toilets, installing gadgets and hardware to things, caught up with old friends, had hot dogs and visited the new Hospice thrift store in Burlington. What a modern-day wildlife treasury chest-o-stuff! I went to the doctor to see about this eye-spasm thing and soon I’ll be headed to an opthemologist to see what the hell!? Al-Anon was difficult last week, the subject matter was denial and putting up with more than is necessary because we think we can do no better and that we deserve no more. Untrue on both accounts, yet it happens every day to so many people… My roommate and I ate my turkey tacos and went to see the new Ruth Bader Ginsburg movie “On The Basis of Sex”. The movie was good and I am so inspired by her story, but we had our critiques. Christine made a wonderful point that we only got to see how she got through the landmark case that landed her to success, and not how she became a Supreme Court Justice… I tend to agree. I had a first date with the new friend who drove me home from the airport and got to sing jazz in public all in one night, that was wonderful. I met a NFL player who’s traveling the South hoping to help with grassroots organizations doing restorative and social justice work. The Tom Waits cabaret was a repeat success in Durham at a joint called Arcana last week. I think I did a better job at Diamonds and Gold this time than before! I saw a new band at the Station in Carrboro by surprise (trying to see Emily Musolino, but I was too late to catch her set after the Cabaret). Over the weekend, I was grateful to chill slightly while preparing for class yesterday. I taught class last night and realized that my students aren’t reading the material before class. I implored them to work a little harder and come to class having read the chapter ahead of time so I’m not just talking the whole time. Maybe they heard me… CRAAP! 😉 *You’ll get why this is misspelled later*

All in all, things have been nuts, as per usual. Today however, in therapy, I broke down. Last week was an intense session, but I wasn’t as focused in on the issues at hand. This week, I broke in two realizing that I can’t do all that I have on my plate and maintain a healthy brain/heart relationship and heal my ankle. Meditation has been something I’ve been wanting to do but have inadvertently avoided since day one. I want to walk, but I can’t with this ankle injury. When one has the debt I’m saddled with, there’s no choice but to work. I can’t end my work. I can’t end my music. My priorities are beginning to become clear. There are some important things which need to take a back seat if I am to “get my shit together” and really truly heal this ankle, and in time, my mental health. Somehow, I have to put my values and my health first…

#LivingQueryofTheWeek – What are your most important values? How do they inform your work? Relationships? Fun?

Upcoming Shows: This week I play in Star, NC on Valentines with Pete Pawsey! SHOW IN STAR, NC

Playing again with Pete at Steel String in Carrboro on the 17th from 4-6. SHOW AT STEEL STRING

I will have my own all-day show of badassery on Feb 20th, when I turn 36 for once!! YAY!

Confirmed a show with Crystal Bright on the 28th of May at Lucky 32 in Greensboro. More info on that to come.

I am working on a collective undertaking of improving my house concert plans and following up with those who expressed interest in hosting! If you’d like to host an Anita Lorraine house concert, holla!! Anitalorrainemusic@gmail.com

LOVE YALL! Thanks for your support 😍

This week in pix (last 2 weeks):

Magz and the Farnsworth!

CRAAP…. do they know the difference? Pepita…. wondering when she’ll be fed… again…Turkey Tacos!!Me in my granddads shirt. What I do when I’m not doing anything… watching Grace and Frankie. About once a week for about 2 hours… that’s all the TV I have time for…

The sun came out and I walked in it barefoot. WTF January? Oh wait, it’s February… my favorite monthTarot cards for February… Someone went downtown… or knows someone who did… The sunset in New York headed back to Newark from Albany on Sunday.The crazy crew from the conference!! Buncha wonky political nerds. I love ’em.LOVE this combo! Do you think of this song when you see this word? I absolutely do. Every time.Thank GOODNESS FOR BATHS.What I’m reading right now. It was recommended by more than three people to me. Thought I would take heed.Funny numbers. Sweet notes.Girls and their thrift store habits.Girls and their outdoor habits.


Leave a comment

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2. Issue 3 January 29 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol 2. Issue 3 January 29 2019

“Our relationships are divine assignments the Spirit creates; a laboratory to teach us…” – First heard this from my new roommate, she credits Marianne Williamson (who also happens to be running for President in 2020) could you imagine a person so eloquent and thoughtful in the Oval Office? President Obama sure was eloquent, but I still have my own critiques of that presidency…

Songs: Pyramids by my friend Adron from Atlanta, GA. Her song has been stuck in my mind for several days now. My favorite line: “If I start to suck somewhat, just remember this, pyramids really exist…”. She’s gorgeous and so amazingly talented.

Let it be Me, by Ray Lamontagne has also been slinking into my heart these days. This song is so beautiful. I’ll listen to this instead of chasing. How about that? 🙂 (My dear friend Ben was working on Ray’s house up in Vermont doing wrought iron work. I miss Ben.)

Thanks to a friend, the song “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from the Little Mermaid has also been rattling around in here for the last few days. It was sung by Pat Carroll – AMAZING VOICE: She looks fun doesn’t she? YES!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g5RcUH_Sx08 Pyramids – Adron

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LWpw3CMCEg Let It Be Me – Ray

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi58pN8W3hY Ocean Octo-Witch Ursula (one of my favorite bad girl characters.)

Dedication: This issue goes out to two very special individuals, two of my oldest friends. Jill Boogie and Paul Kerr. Jill and I have been best friends for years and this I the first year in many many years I was unable to celebrate her birthday with her due to moving and work. Paul and I have been friends for just about as long as Jill and I and his birthday was also this week. Jill and I are both 20s (I was born on February 20th, she on January 20th) and Paul on the 26th. I seem to have a special affinity for Aquarians… you buncha sweethearts. Happy birthday y’all~!

Dear Humans, Boy have the last two weeks been insane. I’ve been moving, helping dear Maggie move and paint her new crib, therapy, teaching and prepping for teaching, shows, focused ankle healing, forgetting to meditate, writing poetry, drinking tons of coffee, Democracy Matters is now in full swing and all my students’ weekly phone calls are set and scheduled, I’ve broken toilets, hearts, myself (clumsiness), and remembered the whole time that I really want to get my shit together! Ha ha! Don’t we all? That should be my query for the week; how do all of you have your shit together? Kidding.

I finally had a second to get my guitar out and sing a few songs a few days ago. It felt so good to put my fingers on the strings… a few songs later, I was remiss in not playing for several weeks. OUCH~! Where are my calluses?? The Tom Waits Cabaret was absolutely the best! Each song had a different flair. There were many singers and bands who were magical!! I saw Curtis Eller play for the first time, woweee he’s like a white, banjo playing Count Basie! (In his style, he feathers the song with notes in appropriate places instead of filling in all the spaces with notes. I really like that kind of style. It gives me peace. Not to disparage all of you electric guitarists out there who ramble on for several minutes while the rest of us are smiling and nodding, smiling and nodding… but I digress.). There is another chance for you to see the Cabaret in Durham at Arcana (it’s downtown, underground, cool little place.) https://www.facebook.com/events/767700680277440/

Had that thing happen where my self-care dropped off while I was busy doing things. I now have a cough and a cold. Also had an episode of hives yesterday! My body is saying, “Grrrrrrrrrl you need to get your shit together and practice your self-love tools!” So in listening to that voice, today I wrote letters, one of my favorite things to do. I am going to New York to the national Democracy Matters conference to teach about 85 students who will be attending about how we plan to get money out of politics and build a more democratic future with the federal HR1 bill, check it out here and sign on man, call your reps and senators! SAVE OUR DEMOCRACY!!

Lastly, I will add that I have several bookies to do house concerts that will be coming up over the next couple of months. I’ll list them here as I confirm with these amazing friends of mine who believe in my voice.

Love you all, thank you for being part of my world. Thank you Sacred Spirit for making me happier than I’ve ever been.

Xoxo

ALM

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – those of you who meditate, how the hell do you do it if you have SERIOUS ADD? Find something else? Walking helps me but I cant cause of this ankle boot. HOW can I find some inner calm… I’m searching.

Last 2 weeks in pictures:

Today’s sunset… breathtaking A poem I found for Maggie – nesting in her new home.A picture I took of our flowers on the kitchen table today.Letters I sent off, that’s not all of ’em…Gonna try this…

Couldn’t agree more…Pepita napping on my arm… Me not being able to nap.Lovely poem in a book a dear friend let me borrow to peruse.Broken toilets. That’s right, more than one…The madness that was my room.A memory from last year. Love that ring.Books I donated to the Social Justice Exchange, books from my studies at Appstate and from SIT Graduate Institute in my Social Justice program. Also just books that I bought to read to understand more about how I can exist in this world being an activated ally and witness to the everyday injustices.Damn right? How many mouths could we feed? A scary hand.Acceptance of what is and what must be.The crew (Radar’s Clowns of Sedation) with DALE singing Time from the Rain Gods album. Holy crap they did an amazing job.