Well folks, it’s the last day of the year.  What a year it has been.  I’ve been pondering what kind of resolutions I might choose for 2017.  One of them is definitely finishing my Master’s degree.  I have to take a speaking/oral assessment exam and pass in order to get my official degree.  I’ve defended my thesis, now I have to be fluent-ish in Spanish.  No short order!!

This year has been full of new experiences, some heartache, some triumph, some serious disappointment, and learning all around.  I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I would like to exist in this world.  2016 started out in Taxco, Mexico with Peter Perkins and new friends, celebrating New Year’s Eve.  More photos of the trip:  (If we’re friends on FB you can see them here.)

Throughout the year I did things that, all listed out, sounds like the life of a super-she-ro.  I got better at skiing, started making homemade almond milk and eating better in general, and made the best lemon merengue pie I’ve ever tasted. I marched at HKonJ in Raleigh, NC with my students from Democracy Matters for the 3rd year in a row, hosted the 15th annual Democracy Matters student Summit in Albany, NY.

I participated in the Democracy Spring march from Philadelphia to DC (Marching 13-17 miles per day, 150 miles) and half-way through was tasked with feeding all those people 3 meals per day for 6 days straight, while also helping to find them places to sleep.  I was arrested for the first time in DC in a week long of protests with over 1000 other people, highlighting voter suppression and the pay-to-play, profits over people election system in this country.  James Madison and I also went with a large group of protestors to lobby Congress to pass the reforms we marched for.

We all witnessed our country stripped of whatever dignity was left when the DNC, wrought with corruption, squandered our chance for having Bernie Sanders as the President.  (But hell, with what happened and the president-elect now, I wonder if it would have made a difference…) I protested the DNC in Philadelphia alongside 1000s of other concerned, affected, and marginalized humans.

Despite the corrupt and disheartening nature of the state of our country, I tried to make the best of it.  Peter encouraged me to sing more and gave me a weekly Sunday brunch spot up on the top of Beech Mountain during the Summer.  I serenaded brunch-goers and often had the one, the only Brad King playing with me.  I’ll miss the sunsets on Beech Mountain.

I played a whole lot more music and even EMCEE’d the Sirens on the Mountain women’s music festival and the Blue Bear Mountain Music Festival.  I’d never done anything like that before and it was a honor and delight to be asked.  I also got to hear some amazing music, Ruthie Foster, Melissa Reaves, the Carter Brothers, Acoustic Syndicate, Mark Schimick, and the Larry Keel Experience.  Some of my absolute favorite musicians.  I played with the Radar’s Clowns of Sedation (Pete Pawsey’s amalgamation of nomadic musicians) at the Carrboro Music Fest and sang at the Eddy Pub a couple of times, even once with John Saylor!!

A bittersweet and melancholy goodbye was said to my tenure on Beech Mountain.  Peter and I have parted ways and over time, I moved back to Alamance County nearer to my dear Maw Maw and Paw Paw and my friend family of Saxapahaw, NC.  Can’t say love is easy, but it is always worth it.  Learning how to be true to one’s self is a priceless lesson.  I still love Peter Perkins dearly and always will.  Glad we had the opportunity to learn those lessons.

Now that I’m back on my own-ish (we never really are alone or do the work alone, that’s for sure) I’m finding my way back to the path.  Studying and setting up a system of living, a badass kitchen, plans for law school (#iknowright!?), plans for a garden, and giving thanks for all of the ways in which I feel like I’ve been blessed in this life.  On Halloween, Doug Williams dressed up as ME, while I just went with the mermaid costume.  What a surprise and honor!  My great aunt Dorothy passed away, that was a very sad day.  My grandmother is the last of the original Darnells in her family still living.  Democracy died in our country on (or before) November 8th but I voted (and drove a friend to vote) nonetheless.  I had a lovely holiday season with my dear family.  Stress free and delicious, all you could ask for.  Today I feel grateful.

…and now that we are on the last day of the year together, please let me offer up some things that I hold dear and some things that I hold high.  There is so much poverty and injustice in our world. Please do your part, whatever that is. Vote, encourage others to vote, fight for voting rights!  Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity.  Teach someone something that you know. Learn something new! Make art, unabashedly.  Protest.  Go in the streets and speak truth to injustice.  Get off Facebook and BE with people.  Seek out and support live music.  Smile and frown, whatever you feel like doing right now and in the moment.  Don’t talk down to yourself.  Lift yourself up as high as you can, you’re the only one who can heal yourself, and it’s your choice, your perspective.  Please pray for the hungry and feed them.  Please pray for the poor and advocate for/with them.  Please pray for justice and participate in your democracy.  Please help to end racism and sexism (and all the other -isms) by speaking up and out.  Please pray for our water and environment and act to protect them.  STAY AS INFORMED AS YOU CAN. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Dr. Martin Luther King said; and Maya Angelou said this, “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

So all of that said, I was on the radio last night.  Invited by John Saylor and Bob Johnson to be on the show “Pass The Hat” on WHUP 104.7 for open-mic night! A snippet of the show is linked below – the portion where I am on the show. The whole show can be listened to on the following link.  Love on all yer heads and heres to 2017, cause damn 2016 was crazy. (headlines below also)

Excerpt of the show with me (and Lance White accompanying)

12/30/16 Open-Mic on Pass the Hat with John Saylor as guest host! (full two hours)

News headlines for December 30th from Skimm and Democracy Now:

https://www.democracynow.org/shows/2016/12/30

“People we will miss…as in Muhammed Ali, David Bowie, Prince, Alan Rickman, Leonard Cohen, Nancy Reagan, Gwen Ifill, John Glenn, Alan Thicke, Miss Cleo, George Michael, Carrie Fisher, and Debbie Reynolds” my aunt Dot and so many more. (http://www.theskimm.com/recent)

11-15-16 9:41pm Gettysburg Hotel, Room 401.  Wow, just in the last hour I have gone from mood to mood from despair to curiosity to contemplative to glad to peacefulness to questioning to disgust to pain and to feeling sorrow.  I held the partial hand of a man confined to a wheelchair in the elevator.  His name was Rich.  I held the door and eagerly got on it (the elevator) with him.  He asked me what brings me to Gettysburg and I said that I work with the school and Democracy Matters to educate students about the corrosive influence of money in politics in our election system.  He said, sort of asked, “Getting rid of Citizens United.?” I said, “Exactly that. And more.”

It was so nice to meet him, if only for a moment.  I’d just returned to the hotel from seeing the movie, “The Dressmaker” and the movie was good, albeit somewhat depressing but still, I laughed at some parts.  Themes of revenge, miscommunication (intentional and unintentional), love, death, and mother/daughter relationships, and redemption.  After the movie though – at the historic Majestic Theatre – there was an art exhibit about Healing.  People wrote on cards about what they wished people understood, what they wished people wouldn’t assume, and what surprised them the most about their own healing.  The submissions were tremendous, heavy, and inspiring.  For what felt like an eternity, I stood there wanting to contribute but being still and waiting for some sort of approval or for someone to tell me it was time to leave, without me having a chance to write my own submission onto a card.

But I did.  I wrote about the voices inside our heads which are mean and tell us lies about who we are and what people think of us and how they hold us back from realizing our true potential… or something like that.  On the back of the card , I thanked the artists for providing such an outlet via art.  And then I walked out of the Majestic.

I’m feeling quite lost at the moment.  I went into the campus Lutheran chapel yesterday and prayed.  I even searched for the chaplain but he wasn’t to be found.  I walked down the basement hallway and at the end found the choir room.  Unmistakable rows of silent and still chairs and a grand piano, touched with dust yet probably frequently used.  This room reminded me of singing in high school and church and all the choirs I joined voices with so long ago – and I longed for those times.

Yesterday I remembered a happy memory from my young adult childhood of roller skating and feeling like flying yet still anchored to the ground by eight rubber wheels.

I’ve been searching for inspiration to be as energizing in my work as I know I can be.  Look there.  Deja vu.  I’ve felt this pen to this page before.

Today is November the 6th and I’m having one of those mornings where I feel like I should have accomplished a lot already, but really, my inside voice is just being a bitch.  I’ve woken up early, fed the animals, made and eaten breakfast, read a chapter of my book (Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, just in case you’re interested and want an amazing new book to read), and walked the dog, gathered eggs and fed the chickens… I’m house sitting for my dear friends little farm/menagerie and I’ve accomplished much already.

I will be doing work shortly, to make up for the two days I’ve been behind since my car decided to quit on me Friday afternoon.  Could be the battery… I’m hoping it’s just the battery…

Like many of you, the inner voice tells me things and gives me excuses and keeps me from shining my light at it’s proper voltage.  This is due to depression, anxiety, addiction, laziness, and a lack of assertiveness and will-power.  If you don’t know this about me, then now you do and you may actually be experiencing the same.  I’ve too often considered myself a victim of the abusive past in my life vs. rising above in my own mind.  Giving myself the time of day and showing up for me, because I matter too.  I hope you can have moments where you can rise above those limiting inside voices.  Each moment I hear them, recognize them, and challenge them consciously is a victory in my day.

I’m going to finish my work right now, and go out and enjoy this gorgeous day afterwards. With so much going on in the world, I am glad for the privilege of being able to enjoy a beautiful Autumn day and I hope I honor the Divine by living with more peace in my heart and more will-power to glow brighter every day.  I’m saying prayers for those in the struggle at Standing Rock and all around the world where greed and injustice are the M.O. (in my backyard as well, I see it.) I hope the work I do in this world impacts the long-time struggle for justice and peace.  Because we cannot know peace without justice.  And we cannot know justice without action towards it.

Anita my love, put a smile on that face.
Your moon is handsome and frilly all the day long and so very shimmery in the night.
As the stars begin to weep for the strength of your heart, you will play the chords of all of their hearts and make tears flow from their eyes.

You will speak more than one language and you will stand and speak, bravely, and say unto yourself, “I love you. You are my rock. You are the wavelength upon which all the universe is spoken and heard, whispered and forgotten. You are everyone, everyone is with you.”

Smile now and skip away, in a giggle that beckons your soul to laugh out loud.

Dear readers, whomever you may be,

I have had a sporadic correspondence from a chance meeting with a man named Joe in a breakfast joint in Asheville, near the Biltmore Estate.  I would like to share our letter/email writing with you and in honor of this man, I will keep his identity secret (the anonymous Joe).  I immediately fell in love with him and our breakfasts got cold while we sang to each other, recited poetry, discussed political goings on, story-telling, and so much more.  I was and am delighted to know this person and I think you’ll enjoy our correspondence just as much as me.

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Dear Joe, I hope that you have received my card in the mail!

Looking forward to hearing back from you 🙂

I hope you are well and enjoying your many breakfasts you may have talked through since last we saw one another.

Talk soon!

Anita​

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Email:

Anita, Please forgive my slow reply–your card was wonderful…my excuses are mundane, stopped up washer drain in basement, some stones prospecting, trying to write some book copy everyday (really had to do)  I’ll forge a proper reply to your card soon.

Your note about justice reminds me I had the great pleasure to have breakfast with Senator Sam Ervin one time–a happenstance–I asked him about his meeting with jurist Judge Learned Hand–“Yes,” Senator Ervin said, “I quote him often–speaking of the law, he said, ‘Upon this we have placed our all.’ “

We were well met, Anita, and I do expect ongoing correspondence,  Regards, J

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Upon not receiving a letter in the mail, I reached out this morning to see how Joe was getting along.  Seems that Joe’s not the only one who gets caught up in life and neglects to write back.  I know for that I have been guilty.

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Email:

Hi Joe, I hope you’re wonderful and enjoyed your Thanksgiving.  I hope your washer drain is fixed!!!

Sending love on to you, do take care.

Anita

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Email:

Well, Happy Surprise to me!  Yes, even though my 88th birthday was last week, I’m still housekeeping (knock on wood)  Took hand sledge to cinder block wall behind washer, exposing (1945) rigged up trap on washer drain, ran twisty cables, etc–draining fine.

Little name dropping, perhaps shared at our last meeting;  My late wife (1928-1984), Bettie, and I were only ones in breakfast bar at King Cotton Hotel, (Greensboro?) circa olden days, Senator Sam Ervin (later to chair Watergate Impeachment), came to breakfast bar and joined us at our table- He had been our post office convention speaker the night before–I asked him about his days at Harvard Law School and anecdotal meeting with Judge Learned Hand.  “Yes, it’s true,” the Senator replied, “And Judge Hand did say, speaking of the law, ‘Upon this, we have placed our all.’ ”  Thought you might enjoy that…

Ms Kinney, where are you? May we do CornerKitchen again?   J

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Email:

I am currently in Beech Mountain, soon to travel around the Southeast in several fell swoops.  Heading to Atlanta this Thursday via Charlotte to drop off a live Christmas tree to a friend.  In Atlanta I expect I will find my wild self in a workshop with one of my best friends and see some live hopping music to enliven my soul.  That following Monday, I will be driving to Birmingham, AL to visit my boyfriends family, then on to Thomasville, GA (very close in proximity to Tallahassee, FL) to live for about 2 weeks in an airstream selling Christmas trees and basking in the Southern GA sunshine, not too far from the railroad tracks where I can gleefully hear the train going by about 2-3 times a day.

After this rendezvous, Peter and I will be returning to central NC to my hometown of Burlington for Christmas.  We eat BBQ on Christmas Eve as a tradition and Peter is an excellent pig-cooker.  Soon after the big holiday, we will be going to Mexico with a class from Appalachian State University to both have a holiday and to practice my Spanish skills so that I might pass a language exam upon my return so I can finally get my Master’s degree completed from a school in Vermont called SIT where the Peace Corps started.

After January 15th, I would like to visit Asheville once again and meet up with you!  What a glorious meeting we had and will have again.

Happy 88th birthday, what did you do for your birthday?  I turn 33 in February on the 20th, 2016.

Your story about Sam Ervin is an interesting one.  Could it possibly be that this is the same Sam Ervin who ran for Supreme Court last year when unfortunately Mr. Thom Tillis bought the position of our state Senator?

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That is all up to this point but I am sure that we will continue writing.  He’s a story-teller from way back.  I became misty-eyed more than once while speaking to him that day while eating (or rather not eating) our breakfast.

The way it happened was this:

I walked into Corner Kitchen, a swanky little restaurant in Asheville, NC one Saturday morning after having a visit with my dearest of friends Phil and Becky to see a concert (Heartless Bastards) the night before.

Upon greeting everyone in that place who was working with a smile and a gesture of “good morning” I sat down at the bar, ordered shrimp and grits and a bloody mary, extra spicy, and did some casual people watching.  The sun was shining in the glass eating area behind me and the bartendress was a fabulous, no-nonsense type of “sweetheart once you get to know her, but she’ll probably kick your teeth in if you don’t watch it”.  You know the kind.  I love all of them.  I like to think of myself as one those people, if you don’t watch it.  (Though I’d never kick anyone’s teeth in, really.)  As soon as I received my vittles, an older gentlemen sauntered in, obviously saluting everyone who worked there as an old friend with a big grin and loud booming voice.  Wearing overalls and a smile, he sat down one seat over from me at the bar and began chatting up the lovely bartendress.  He and I looked at each other and I greeted him with a “good morning to you!”  At that, we were non-stop talking.  He had so many questions about me and I about him.  He learned that I was a singer/songwriter/activist/poet.  I learned that he was a story-teller, life-liver, and ex-postmaster and musician.  We gently bombarded one another with sharings of our pasts and questions of current pass-times and hobbies, works and interests.  It was as if I’d met someone whom I’d known for lifetimes, in an 87 year old man.  He didn’t remind me of my grandfather, he reminded me of ALL of my grandfathers, boyfriends, and those whom I’d like to meet and spend eternity with in all of my upcoming lifetimes.  I’ll never forget that day and the magic it brought me.  He sang a song for me that he’d written for one of his greatest loves.  He’d put it down on paper and memorized it for a date when they were courting.  I sang him a ballad I’d written about Ransom and his murderous, heartbreaking death.  I sang him also Utah Phillips’ song “I Think of You” because Joe’s mannerisms reminded me of Utah Phillips and the way he tells a story.

Stay tuned for more, I don’t know when it’ll come but I am sure there’ll be further illuminated exchanges between me and Joe and I’ll post them here.