anitalorraine.com

Musician and Activist devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage

TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 1 January 8, 2019

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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 1 January 8, 2019

Quote: “Intellect and Instinct Unify” -The Vertical Oracle

Song: “I Can’t Go For That” Haul & Oates ~ this song was running through my friend Bruce’s head today as he was helping me move a bookcase into my new digs. Now it’s running through my head. What do you think he can’t go for? She wants his soul? Or something else more sinister? Songs have a way of being layered with symbolism. https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

Dedication: Naomi Totten was my high school chorus teacher and the reason why I made it to graduation. I went to Cummings High School in Burlington, NC. I loved my school. I couldn’t decide where I fit in because I ran track, smoked cigarettes in the bathroom with the bad kids, I was a cheerleader (on a dare), got straight As in classes and terrible conduct grades, and also had a part-time job at a local Italian mom-n-pop joint called Angelos. I did a fair share of drugs, starting in middle school, mostly weed and mushrooms, a little LSD here and there and then got into some harder stuff in high school, lots of ecstasy and pressed pills. I remember a point where I was so confused about who I was, I took a bunch of diet pills and tried to commit suicide. I laid on the railroad tracks for hours, sick as a dog and praying for the train to come because I couldn’t move. (This newsletter became pretty serious, pretty quickly I realize… but not to worry, it gets better.).

Mrs. Totten was always getting on my case. She was always telling me I could do better. She ALWAYS believed in me, even when I was being a huge pain in the ass. I was chasing after boys and wondering how I could chase after girls and get away with it… Never once could I sit still enough to really pay attention to what was going on in class, except for one class, chorus. I loved chorus. Mrs. Totten was always challenging me and encouraging me to go home and practice. She encouraged me to sing opera pieces and complex soprano solos for our recitals and concerts. We’d practice SOLFEDGE and sometimes she’d let us lead class with it. If it weren’t for chorus, I probably would have hated high school altogether. The pivotal moment happened when she encouraged me to try out for this all-county chorus opportunity. I had to learn a piece by Handel’s Hallelujah and it was NOT easy. When I went to tryouts, I’d never had to sing in front of people in that context and I was extremely nervous, but I sang my part (of a 6 part harmony song) perfectly. We had to wait a few days for the results and when they came in, I was the only girl from my school who’d made it. The crux of this story centers around the fact that this all-county chorus was put together specifically for a trip to Vienna, Austria to sing in several cathedrals, schools, monasteries, and at this international choir convention just prior to Christmas. The furthest I’d traveled at that point in my life was no further North than Williamsburg, VA, no further South than Myrtle Beach, SC, and no further West than Gatlinburg, TN. This trip changed my life in such significant ways, I can’t tell you all of them.

Mrs. Totten and 5 other choir directors from the 5 other schools in our county led the trip. I was the only girl from my school, so I didn’t know anyone else from the other schools. It may surprise you, but I didn’t make very many friends. I didn’t really try to be honest. I was enamored with the streets of Vienna. I wandered off alone every minute I could to check out my surroundings, the stores, the buildings, listening to people speaking different languages… it was magical. That trip changed my life. Suddenly the world was SO much bigger. I’d had to fundraise for months prior to going, I didn’t have $3000 just laying around. It was worth every dime and every second of effort. I wanted to do right by Mrs. Totten on the trip, her approval meant the world to me. I had more respect for her than for anyone else I can remember growing up. It was this trip that changed my perspective so drastically that I started to realize the mistakes I’d been making in my life up to that point. I began to see how detrimental my social lifestyle was to the potential for me to grow into a whole, happy human. With the support of my boyfriend DC at the time and my dear friend CJ, I basically quit doing drugs, applied to college for vocal operatic performance, quit hanging out with all the drug using crowd, and went on to be extremely thankful for music and what it did for me as a person. I thank music and my talents profusely, however, I feel that without the support, love, and encouragement of Mrs. Totten, I’d have faltered into a statistic and that would have been it. I dedicate this issue to her. She’s one of the main reasons for all of my seasons around here. 🙂 ❤ 🙂

Dear Humans,

Welcome back to the TuesDayNewsDay Anita Lorraine newsletter. It’s been several week since I’ve published, life has happened and so it goes on! The holiday season is not my favorite, but I grin’n’bear it as they say. Music has been spare these last several weeks, other than just playing at the Cats Cradle with Emily Musolino and Crystal Bright. That night was amazing and made me very happy. I felt hella privileged to get to share the stage with such amazing humans.

The stars and planets and Sun and Moon have been doing some good work and I had an epiphany of late that I finally believe in something bigger. Something I have always wanted to find and turns out it really was an epiphany. I got chills. I was sitting on my knees in the Moonlight realizing how small yet how big we can be. It was a beautiful night of manifestation as well. I made a decision there will be no more chasing. In relationships, I have done a lion’s share of the chasing and I quit. I quit chasing boys. I quit chasing girls. I quit chasing my loved ones who can’t be committed to that love. Live and let live. Love and let love. Detachment. It works. Since then, manifestation has been the name of the game and it’s turning out moment by moment perfectly, all in hindsight of course. 😉 I pulled a card from my Affirmators! Love and Relationships deck tonight – it says, “I’m a catch.” ~ “I’m a total catch, and I know all the reasons why. I know that anyone would be lucky to be with me, and that doesn’t mean I’m arrogant or snobby… Self-respect is just one of the many qualities exhibited by this complete and utter babe. Way to affirm Universe! So here goes, I’m going to make a list of the things going on:

1. I just taught my first class at Alamance Community College, critical thinking. It was awesome. 2. New Years Eve I got to go to the beach with a dear friend. 3. Xmas I had to see my mother. Awkward and painful. 4. I’m moving into a new house centrally located in my hometown where I get to people watch all day if I want to. 5. I have a new and sacred relationship with Ritual. I find it vital to my health. 6. I’m wearing an ankle brace right now in order to hopefully avoid surgery… old injury, new insurance! 7. 2019 is going to kick ass and suck. Just like every year. ;). 8. I’m singing in a cool show next week. 9. I ruined a perfectly good haircut by getting happy with scissors a few weeks ago… luckily I know some people… 10. Magic happens, I get to go to Bynum for a hike sometime with someone special after I figure out my ankle situation.

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – What is god for you? Is it goddess? Is it spirit? For me it’s an amalgamation of the little girl inside of me who saved my ass as a child and this all-everything energetic entity that exists in hindsight who/that gives you insight into all the lessons you’ve learned….

Upcoming Shows:

January 17th – (I’ll fill you in where) Singing Diamonds and Gold at a Tom Waits Cabaret show Orange County somewhere…

February 8th – Arcana – Tom Waits cover show with the Clowns!

This week in Pictures…this last MONTH in pictures!

Author: Anita Lorraine

Woman, musician, grassroots organizer, poet. I sing and work for the struggle for justice & I talk politics and religion at the dinner table.

One thought on “TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 1 January 8, 2019

  1. Nice! I enjoyed that very much! Yes, YOU ARE A CATCH!! That is a FACT!

    Like

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