Quote: “We’re not shooting for perfection.” – Mark Simonsen (The man who’s now helping me record my album.) Words really matter to me. Those words gave me so much comfort on my first day,two weeks ago, surprisingly recording the first song on the album, Surrendering To The Sacred, my Changin’ Time Blues. I wrote that song for Ransom Hobbes, a man who was instrumental in my songwriting and whose memory I cherish and honor.
Song: “Dirt and Stardust” – Heather Maloney ~ Blessings times two this past week when I got to see her play live twice! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnsbmw1ybT8
Dedication: This week, the newsletter is dedicated to my grandparents who, after I smashed the two middle fingers on my left hand yesterday, brought me a biscuit and ate breakfast with me just to “make sure you’re gonna be alright.” Maw Maw and Paw Paw… I love them. When asked why Paw Paw sits next to Maw Maw in all restaurant situations, he responds, “Well if I don’t sit next to her, somebody will!”
Last week was truly too busy for me to write and I have had two weeks of lovely chaos, opportunity, healing and realizations, work and more time incorporating music into my life. I got to see one of my oldest besties *surprise* last week, found some of my old art, played for birthday parties and saw another dear friend from college perform in the Vagina Monologues. Unfortunate news, I lost my brown, wool pheasant feather hat 😦 Bigger and better news: I started recording my album! 🙂
Upon being invited to record my songs in his studio, months and months later, I reached out to Mark and made a plan to learn more. We sat down for a “consultation” to discuss the project. I’d been riddled with migraines the two days previous and felt nervous and unsure as we began to discuss together. After laying out my vision of concept, production style, feel, sound, and passionate story, it became clear that this is going to be a beautiful album. The concept is powerful and redemptive; Mark dug it. I began to get excited, even jittery. Mark then asks, “So you want to record a song now?” *crickets* “……..Now?…… *wide eyed and deep breath*……Sure.”
So it has begun.
The concept is simply resilience. I want to share with anyone who needs to hear it, that even against shitty odds like childhood sexual abuse, abandonment, perpetual fear and insecurity, one can emerge beautiful, polished, poised, and confident – for as Kahlil Gibran so beautifully puts it “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?” Do we not become stronger through sorrow, if we open our hearts to the lessons (secret blessings) it etches into our hearts? If we are somehow privileged enough to have had someone who believes in us, even if it is only one person? Even if only in the eyes of the gods, “the old and the new”. I truly believe we do, as I am happier and contain more confidence now, through acceptance of what is and choosing to change my perceptions. All because I have the right to believe in myself. I have the voice to sing and the resilience to use my sorrow to rejoice.
This upcoming week and last week, I have been sending out thank yous to everyone who helped me financially to use last Summer to get all the songs on the album prepared for recording. In light of the costs of recording and production, I’ll be creating a crowd-sourcing fundraiser to help with this new phase. From the deepest places within me, I am grateful for the encouragement received for this project. For so long, I looked outside to find validation and from that believed in myself based on others’ opinions. At this point, I have begun to recognize my talents and to pursue the dreams of sharing them, unabashedly and humbly asking for everyone’s support. For that I say, “Thank you All.”
Also: 1. Definitely having surgery on my ankle. Orthoscopic. 2. Next week I take a group of my Democracy Matters students to lobby in Raleigh for pro-democracy reform in NC. 3. On the full moon, I intend to stop drinking again. 4. A new guitar has found her way to me. A beautiful semi-hollow body acoustic-electric. Thank you Michelle for introducing us. 5. Bruce and I are now working on some demos and booking gigs for the Summer. If you want us to play for you, HOLLA! Anitalorrainemusic@gmail.com 6. Game of Thrones comes back on Sunday, don’t holla at me Sunday. 😉
#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – Are you as stoked about Game of Thrones as I am? OMGODDESSESSSSS
This week in pictures:
The newest member of the family: I don’t have a name for her yet. Snazzy pants? Maw Maw and Paw Paw, giggling at one of our local haunts, Skids on N. Church St, Burlington, NC. The ankle, all that white stuff isn’t supposed to be there… Playin in the backyard barn party! Robo, Bruce, and Bill!Banjo hammocking! Learning the song “Sweet City Woman” for the one hit wonders show coming up.Bruce and I, in our weird element, with our badass glasses pairs. Ready for action. Duh!A beautiful morning setting with one of my foraged Spring bouquets, pears, candle, a rose, some different salt options and a tiny pine cone. Journal entry about Jamaica from 2009-10ish. A drawing based on a French wine ad.Another drawing based on sacred femininity, eternity, electricity, grounding and Goddess parts. From 2012ish. Those are my ankles and my red pajamas, left ankle wrapped for support.. That ankle’s been giving me trouble for a while!Pepita in the sun with her friend, Cornelius. Feetz and ze creek.Shadow, I always think of Peter Pan’s shadow…Little violets and feetz- grounding walking barefoot whenever I can.Moon, silos, and cow. Mooo.