Alone in my thoughts
without you
The river rose above its banks
as the rain in the night passed by
prints from night animals
and driftwood
still fresh where they lie
I remembered Your enchanting smile
and mountainous heart
distant
memories to me now
The black-capped chickadee and cardinal
as captivating to me
as fire to a cold wanderer
My heart warms with the thought of you
And I move on
Like you did
Like the still raging river
The dawn greeted our hermit
Cool it was
Wind swam through the thorny vines
Dewey shrubs
and tall tree shadow lines
I dreamed of the absentee’s return
The whisper of the path which led to me
The window held my vision
As my eyes drifted
No explanations
Sand crept into my shoes this morning
On my trek away from isolation
In the dark
The Star illuminated
My lessons
Though still dim, they tasted
Of potent potions, salt, fantasy oceans
The chapter I began today
Spoke of caution, beware
Of self-neglect – dear hermit –
Let that light be your guide
Sacred compass
I am the gift to which I bestow
To you my love
Feeding your inner glow
Only when you re-member
Stitch back
The missing pieces
Can affirmations be upheld
Rejoiced, embodied
Love increases and releases
Bless you my sprite,
Rebellious child
I’ll hold you in the dark
The light
And foster you
Wild.

TuesDayNewsDay
AnitaLorraineMoore
“Learn to handle the valleys Quincy, the hills will take care of themselves.” -Count Basie to Quincy Jones
Dear Humans,
Here comes the new Anita Moore newsletter every Tuesday describing what’s going on with me musically, emotionally/intellectually, creatively, and about life in general and things that move, touch or inspire me. We’ll start with a #freshquote and dedication – the #LivingQueryoftheWeek (respond in the comment section) and #UpcomingShows !!
Dedication: Auspiciously, my late brother Skip used to start a new journal on October 1 every year. This issue is dedicated to him. I miss him so much.
Over the last few weeks, there’ve been a lot of life events that have given me great pause. My 96 year old great aunt Helen passed and I sang a few songs for her funeral, I dealt with a staph infection, and my grandfather had pretty serious surgery to unblock his carotid artery (with him being in the hospital it inevitably means that my grandmother’s going to be on edge as well – they are attached at the hip quite literally. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.) Lastly, the Supreme Court fiasco has triggered many feelings of anger, helplessness, and memories of not being believed, invalidation, and being ridiculed by my mother starting at the age of 7. Call your Senators people. Vote them out if they don’t act upon your testimonies. We cannot allow the perpetuation of this behavior with silence.
I’m working part time with Democracy Matters and have 10 wonderful chapters of students who are doing amazing awareness raising work from Florida to New York. Syracuse University, Gettysburg, University of Maryland, North Carolina Central University, a new chapter at UNC, Guilford college, the University of Miami, the University of Georgia in Athens, University of Florida in Gainesville, and the New College of Florida.
Music has given me quite a bit of inspiration. I am so honored and grateful to have been able to open that door when I did. Many, many other doors have opened subsequently from that divine choice. This past weekend, I got to perform three shows w/Pete Pawsey. Sunday at the Carrboro music festival, I was a complete rockstar and dressed the part too! With the Radar Clowns – On that day an amazing five piece horn section, smooth piano, energetic drums, and rockin’ Pete on the guitar, I sang my heart out on several songs and we had so much wonderful reception. I felt very tuned in at that moment and realized how happy I am to have started this journey when I did. Thank you all for supporting me. I could not do it without you.
In my personal, therapeutic journey, I have learned a lot about myself and about my motivations for work, life decisions, and habitual responses that honestly I would like to alter for the betterment of my sanity and for the world in general around me. I found that I was doing political service work in such a way that I was avoiding my own process of healing and/or avoiding my own historical traumatic struggle. I was unknowingly convinced that the world was easier to fix than my pain. Well… I am not doing that anymore. I have begun to prioritize my own mental health and establishing boundaries. Going to an Al-Anon meeting weekly, I just began working with my first sponsor. I’ve been doing cognitive behavioral therapy weekly, implementing EMDR sessions throughout. There is a book I’ve decided to write, for which I have begun gathering sources. The album concept is complete and I have all but two songs completely recorded in a demo. Right now I am compiling a list of accompaniment and considering different production styles and offers. I have applied for a potential teaching position at Alamance Community College – critical thinking. *fingers crossed* PS: I love lists.
My struggles have been with food lately and maintaining some semblance of exercise. I’ve been paying more attention to patterns, realizing that hormonally there are some disturbances at certain times of the month when I become desperate, hopeless, depressed, irritated and lethargic. To start, going on morning walks has been really helpful. Waking up early to watch the sunrise is a blessing; I had forgotten how beautiful the sunrise is. This morning it was an amalgamation of all sorts of pinks, purples, and yellows and blue-grey clouds. The moon has also been especially haunting in a good way lately, happy October! *groovy happy dance*
At this very moment I am sitting on what Bruce calls “the magic rock”, where the creek bends and the water forms soothing sounds. Birds are chirping all around and the crickets are playing their endless tiny violin songs.
With Love, because it saves the world,
ALM
#LivingQueryoftheWeek : What is your most effective tool for self-love/self-care?
Upcoming Shows:
Watching a cat roll around in catnip is extremely enjoyable. There, now that that’s out I can start this post and get out what’s been trying to exit from me. I enjoyed watching the late night showing of the Hobbit last night. A dear friend from Saxapahaw, NC came to visit me up here in Beech Mountain for the first time and all because we’d vowed to one another that we would watch the Hobbit together before it left the theaters. We made good on our promise. The journey to Johnson City, Tennessee was about an hour-long and dear Peter joined us thankfully he was able to leave work before midnight. The three of us trekked into the windy roads of Highway 19 in the dark and made it home safely with all of our precious cargo.
This morning, I had intended to sleep in, yet that was not accomplished. I only slept until about 8:45 and have been awake from then on. I made breakfast for my friend and we watched Saturday morning cartoons and drank a few mimosas before he had to head back down the mountain. The quiet snow is falling outside and it made my friend feel some trepidation, yet he ended up getting out just fine and took me to the mercantile so that I might consume some vittles for lunch before heading out for a walk back home in the 25 degree, powdery weather. Saying goodbye to my friend, I was sad to see him go. His visit was short but hopefully next time around we’ll have more time to explore the mountain.
The point of this post is to say that I went for my hike today and came across two very beautiful, medium-sized dogs. At first, I was startled, they were not on leashes, but I put out my hand and stopped my advancing toward them and let them come to me. Proper dog manners. They were at first sniffers and seemingly nervous, but in a moment’s time they were snarfing and leaning and wagging all over. One was dark curly brown and the other had big spots and was gorgeous and sort of striped, but big stripes of grey and brown with white mainly. I look up to see the owner and it was someone I know. After talking to this person briefly and ending the conversation with, “There is always something to be grateful for, have a beautiful afternoon.” I walked away and turned my thoughts inward.
I must say the rest of the walk calmed me. I took several photos of the stunning winter scenery and was sure to take each step slowly and contemplatively. The pristine path had not been trodden since the snow had fallen, except for deer and bird tracks. I even saw the remnants of a woodpeckers work on my favorite Boo Radley tree. There were fresh wood chips all around the back side of that old, dead tree, and on the other side, the gaping hole I could fit in if desired. I will put gifts in there, if to no one else then to the tree himself.
I just remembered that while I was eating lunch I was reading a magazine about survival in the Smokies during the winter. “Will” was the word the editor used in her column. The will to create things, to live, and to do what your “will be done”. I am convinced right now that I have the will to get several things accomplished today that I neglected this week and WILL be prepared on Monday to be as badass as I can be, even with a few hours of guitar and Spanish practice to boot. I just made a fresh batch of kombucha and will be enjoying my freshly bottled elderberry ginger kombucha tomorrow when it is fully carbonated and ready to consume.
All that said, this story has several points:
1. Walking can help to clear the head. 2. I’m emotional today and can feel the pull of the Moon coming back. 3. I started writing a new song for the first time in a very long time just a few days ago and I am now taking guitar lessons. The badassery to follow has been a long time coming. and 4. It is as if today I have learned something new. Let’s not forget it now Anita. This may come in handy in the future. “Be not half-assed.”
anita lorraine moore 