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Daaaaaaaaaaaaang it’s been awhile!

Quote: Turns out… I’m not set up for traditional meditation, even the STARS say so. After YEARS of learning about it, researching it, and feeling bad I wouldn’t make time for it, stick to it, and thinking I was failing hard, in therapy this week, we explored why. Turns out… childhood sexual abuse survivors have an especially hard time doing traditional meditation. Oh good, I’m off the hook for quieting the mind… At first I was pissed but another lesson this week: acceptance and celebration of who and where I am in life right now is called for! I can take baby steps toward other types of focusing activities – WALKING once this ankle heals, drawing, song-writing, poetry, arts of all kinds. Good thing I like doing all those things. 🙂 Even the stars are validating of late.
“Thank you Universe, more please.” – http://www.ChristineClifton.com

Song: Eddie Vedder (aka *melt* incarnate) – Better Days https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUYzQ_6xhU4 Lyrics included because they’re perfect.

Dedication: This week is dedicated to all the people in my life who have helped me after this surgery. It was a blow for which I did not plan adequately. Had no idea how painful, tiring and aggravating getting around without the use of one of my feet. Dang. So to you my grandparents, Christine, Bruce, Maggie May… Crystal, Els, Deborah, Michelle for all that food, and all you out there who’ve been so helpful and rad, I send you my greatest thanks and humble gratitude. Asking for what you need is hard af. Allowing yourself to be taken care of.. that’s hard. Learning this lesson is an ongoing process and I’m grateful for that too.

Dear Humans,
Weeeeeellllllll the past several weeks have been nutso! As per my dedication for this year, ankle surgery happened two weeks ago, tomorrow. The summer semester of Critical Thinking has begun and I’m teaching online only. A blessing in disguise since I’m laid up and can’t bear weight on my ankle for several weeks. Last week, singing at the Kraken was a huge honor and has sparked some lovely ideas about how the lead-up to the album release. My Democracy Matters organizing is over for the school year as of the 15th of May. We start back in the Fall when the students return. Saxy Tarot is now up and running! I’ve been reading Tarot for a long time privately, however I’ve been called to make a business out of it to help fund my music career! Feels totally in alignment with this new self-acceptance and my obsession with the occult (astrology, Tarot, Numerology, candles, witchery in general…) I hope that it takes off! Readings will also now be available online. Schedule yours now to support the upcoming album! https://www.schedulicity.com/scheduling/STRFQ6

#LivingQueryoftheWeek – How is your work or career in alignment with your innermost values and desires? I’m beginning to feel the connection by incorporating things I would have been shameful about growing up. Southern Baptists frown upon such things… Thank goodness that’s not the church I go to. Ha.Ha.Ha….

Y’all have a lovely week. I’ll be in bed doing bed yoga so my ass doesn’t stay numb for 23 hours straight… Looking forward to singing and playing out again soon!

Upcoming Shows:

May 28 – 9pm Weekly online song debut series

June 4 – 9pm Weekly online song debut series

June 15 – 7-10 One-Hit Wonders All-Star Show @ The Kraken

June 18 – 9pm Weekly online song debut series

June 25 – 9pm Weekly online song debut series

June 28 – 7-9pm Show at the Eddy Pub w/Bruce Horvath 

June 29 – 8-10 Show at Hyperion Bar/Lounge, Mebane, NC w/Bruce Horvath 

Last few weeks in pictures:

Moooooooon and Twilight
Lessons.
Kitty company and coffee reading in the morning.
A DAMN FINE quote.
Live videos….
Joyridin….
The bed-art-medicine cave
Post-op

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TuesDayNewsDay

AnitaLorraineMoore

“Learn to handle the valleys Quincy, the hills will take care of themselves.” -Count Basie to Quincy Jones

Dear Humans,

Here comes the new Anita Moore newsletter every Tuesday describing what’s going on with me musically, emotionally/intellectually, creatively, and about life in general and things that move, touch or inspire me. We’ll start with a #freshquote and dedication – the #LivingQueryoftheWeek (respond in the comment section) and #UpcomingShows !!

Dedication: Auspiciously, my late brother Skip used to start a new journal on October 1 every year. This issue is dedicated to him. I miss him so much.

Over the last few weeks, there’ve been a lot of life events that have given me great pause. My 96 year old great aunt Helen passed and I sang a few songs for her funeral, I dealt with a staph infection, and my grandfather had pretty serious surgery to unblock his carotid artery (with him being in the hospital it inevitably means that my grandmother’s going to be on edge as well – they are attached at the hip quite literally. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.) Lastly, the Supreme Court fiasco has triggered many feelings of anger, helplessness, and memories of not being believed, invalidation, and being ridiculed by my mother starting at the age of 7. Call your Senators people. Vote them out if they don’t act upon your testimonies. We cannot allow the perpetuation of this behavior with silence.

I’m working part time with Democracy Matters and have 10 wonderful chapters of students who are doing amazing awareness raising work from Florida to New York. Syracuse University, Gettysburg, University of Maryland, North Carolina Central University, a new chapter at UNC, Guilford college, the University of Miami, the University of Georgia in Athens, University of Florida in Gainesville, and the New College of Florida.

Music has given me quite a bit of inspiration. I am so honored and grateful to have been able to open that door when I did. Many, many other doors have opened subsequently from that divine choice.  This past weekend, I got to perform three shows w/Pete Pawsey. Sunday at the Carrboro music festival, I was a complete rockstar and dressed the part too! With the Radar Clowns – On that day an amazing five piece horn section, smooth piano, energetic drums, and rockin’ Pete on the guitar, I sang my heart out on several songs and we had so much wonderful reception. I felt very tuned in at that moment and realized how happy I am to have started this journey when I did. Thank you all for supporting me. I could not do it without you.

In my personal, therapeutic journey, I have learned a lot about myself and about my motivations for work, life decisions, and habitual responses that honestly I would like to alter for the betterment of my sanity and for the world in general around me. I found that I was doing political service work in such a way that I was avoiding my own process of healing and/or avoiding my own historical traumatic struggle. I was unknowingly convinced that the world was easier to fix than my pain. Well… I am not doing that anymore. I have begun to prioritize my own mental health and establishing boundaries. Going to an Al-Anon meeting weekly, I just began working with my first sponsor. I’ve been doing cognitive behavioral therapy weekly, implementing EMDR sessions throughout. There is a book I’ve decided to write, for which I have begun gathering sources. The album concept is complete and I have all but two songs completely recorded in a demo. Right now I am compiling a list of accompaniment and considering different production styles and offers. I have applied for a potential teaching position at Alamance Community College – critical thinking. *fingers crossed* PS: I love lists.

My struggles have been with food lately and maintaining some semblance of exercise. I’ve been paying more attention to patterns, realizing that hormonally there are some disturbances at certain times of the month when I become desperate, hopeless, depressed, irritated and lethargic. To start, going on morning walks has been really helpful. Waking up early to watch the sunrise is a blessing; I had forgotten how beautiful the sunrise is. This morning it was an amalgamation of all sorts of pinks, purples, and yellows and blue-grey clouds. The moon has also been especially haunting in a good way lately, happy October! *groovy happy dance*  

At this very moment I am sitting on what Bruce calls “the magic rock”, where the creek bends and the water forms soothing sounds. Birds are chirping all around and the crickets are playing their endless tiny violin songs.

With Love, because it saves the world,

ALM

#LivingQueryoftheWeek : What is your most effective tool for self-love/self-care?

 

 

Upcoming Shows:

  • Sat, October 20th – w/Radar Clowns, Rain Dogs by Tom Waits Theme
  • Fri, November 2nd – w/Radar Clowns – Day of the Dead Show
    • 8:00pm, Hillsborough @ #MysteryBrewingCompany
  • Sat, November 3rd – Me-n-Pete Duo
    • 7:15pm, Star, NC @ #StarworksCafeTaproom
  • Sun, November 4th – w/Radar Clowns, Rain Dogs by Tom Waits Theme
    • 3:00-5:00pm, Pittsboro @ #CITYTAPPITTSBORO
  • Fri, November 30th – Anita Lorraine with Bruce Horvath

 

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10423654_10101519858563348_4963391871808647311_nWatching a cat roll around in catnip is extremely enjoyable. There, now that that’s out I can start this post and get out what’s been trying to exit from me.  I enjoyed watching the late night showing of the Hobbit last night.  A dear friend from Saxapahaw, NC came to visit me up here in Beech Mountain for the first time and all because we’d vowed to one another that we would watch the Hobbit together before it left the theaters.  We made good on our promise.  The journey to Johnson City, Tennessee was about an hour-long and dear Peter joined us thankfully he was able to leave work before midnight.  The three of us trekked into the windy roads of Highway 19 in the dark and made it home safely with all of our precious cargo.

This morning, I had intended to sleep in, yet that was not accomplished.  I only slept until about 8:45 and have been awake from then on.  I made breakfast for my friend and we watched Saturday morning cartoons and drank a few mimosas before he had to head back down the mountain.  The quiet snow is falling outside and it made my friend feel some trepidation, yet he ended up getting out just fine and took me to the mercantile so that I might consume some vittles for lunch before heading out for a walk back home in the 25 degree, powdery weather.  Saying goodbye to my friend, I was sad to see him go.  His visit was short but hopefully next time around we’ll have more time to explore the mountain.

The point of this post is to say that I went for my hike today and came across two very beautiful, medium-sized dogs.  At first, I was startled, they were not on leashes, but I put out my hand and stopped my advancing toward them and let them come to me.  Proper dog manners.  They were at first sniffers and seemingly nervous, but in a moment’s time they were snarfing and leaning and wagging all over.  One was dark curly brown and the other had big spots and was gorgeous and sort of striped, but big stripes of grey and brown with white mainly.  I look up to see the owner and it was someone I know.  After talking to this person briefly and ending the conversation with, “There is always something to be grateful for, have a beautiful afternoon.”  I walked away and turned my thoughts inward.

I must say the rest of the walk calmed me.  I took several photos of the stunning winter scenery and was sure to take each step slowly and contemplatively. The pristine path had not been trodden since the snow had fallen, except for deer and bird tracks.  I even saw the remnants of a woodpeckers work on my favorite Boo Radley tree.  There were fresh wood chips all around the back side of that old, dead tree, and on the other side, the gaping hole I could fit in if desired.  I will put gifts in there, if to no one else then to the tree himself.

I just remembered that while I was eating lunch I was reading a magazine about survival in the Smokies during the winter.  “Will” was the word the editor used in her column.  The will to create things, to live, and to do what your “will be done”.  I am convinced right now that I have the will to get several things accomplished today that I neglected this week and WILL be prepared on Monday to be as badass as I can be, even with a few hours of guitar and Spanish practice to boot.  I just made a fresh batch of kombucha and will be enjoying my freshly bottled elderberry ginger kombucha tomorrow when it is fully carbonated and ready to consume.

All that said, this story has several points:

1. Walking can help to clear the head.  2. I’m emotional today and can feel the pull of the Moon coming back.  3. I started writing a new song for the first time in a very long time just a few days ago and I am now taking guitar lessons.  The badassery to follow has been a long time coming. and 4. It is as if today I have learned something new.  Let’s not forget it now Anita.  This may come in handy in the future.  “Be not half-assed.”

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Road trips make me giddy …and lighting a candle before I start my work in the political world helps me to feel more cozy.  That’s what I’m doing right now.

So I live in Beech Mountain now and it’s been in the lower teens as far as temperature goes for the last week.  I moved and stacked a cord of wood last night in 25 degree weather and I’m leaving town today.

Excited to go and sing with my dear friend on his newest album.  I’ll be there for the weekend.  It is going to be lovely embracing the musical spirit in someone else’s dreams and making them a reality.  I love to harmonize with other voices.  This is where my musical background comes to the forefront, singing in choirs fills my heart with gladness.

Next I’m traveling home to Alamance County where I will be celebrating thanksgiving and visiting with all of my dear pals from Saxapahaw, NC.  I am very much looking forward to Jazz night at the Eddy and hostScreen Shot 2014-03-13 at 11.06.14 PMing Trivia with a music theme.  I hope that all my homie humans will be there and they can commiserate my leaving and staying gone while also celebrating my momentary return.  I will also be purchasing a couple of jars of Saxapahaw Honey.  That makes me happy.  I will be staying with my grandparents during this visit, that also makes me very happy.  I am so glad they are happy and healthy and I look forward to spending some quality time with them.

On the 30th I will be taking the TRAIN to New York City.  It’s an all day ride and I can’t express how excited I am about that.  I love love love traveling by train.  Once I was taking the train from Minneapolis to Chicago and it was glorious.  I was sitting in the all glass car, playing guitar and singing for the people around me, making friends, and discussing politics when suddenly, there she was! The Julia Belle Swain! Shining in all her glory and oh how I wished that train would have slowed down so I could have stolen a better look at her.  I stood up from my seat and exclaimed, “The Julia Belle Swain!” pointing out the window looking like a child who’s just seen the moon for the first time (maniacally and excitedly with bug eyes).  Needless to say, everyone on that train was wondering what else was wrong with this woman they have to ride with for several more hours.

When I get to NYC, I hope to see some dear friends and catch up with the city of a million smells.  On the 1st, I’ve been invited to a gala in Brooklyn recognizing my executive director for her amazing dedication to the cause of getting money out of politics and advocating for fair elections.  Joan Mandle is an amazing woman whom I admire very much.  I have worked for her now for about 4 years and I hope to continue because I believe in the work that we do.  Tuesday, I travel to Sarah Lawrence College to speak on a panel about student engagement, local civic participation and money in politics and then I am giving a training/workshop on lobbying in New York.  It is very encouraging that my student at SLC has worked so hard and is very passionate about getting this event together.  I must say however, that public speaking still makes me nervous.  Singing, dancing, speaking, all of it gives me butterflies.. at least in the beginning.  It’s because I care.

After I’m done in NY, I’m flying to Tallahassee.  YAY for Tallahassee! They are the first city to pass the Anti-corruption act (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LhEFehRWApM ) and I get to go there the same day that there is a Granny-D (famous public financing of elections advocate) commemorative walk for campaign finance reform! Link to the event webpage: https://www.facebook.com/events/1510499305868963/  I’ll be arriving late, which means I may not be able to make it to any of the events, but hopefully I get to meet up with my alumni student who’s been helping to organize these events.  The main reason I am traveling to Tallahassee is to visit my sweetheart who is down in Thomasville, GA selling Christmas trees. I helped move about 100 of those trees, so I hope I sell at least one.  I am very much looking forward to being in the deep South for a few weeks – mostly for the cuddling factor and getting to see my man in his holiday Elf suit, but also for the frequent visits that we will take to the Bradfordville Blues Club.  The BBC is on the chitterling circuit, otherwise known as the blues trail.  http://www.bradfordvilleblues.com http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chitlin’_circuit

That’s about it for now, safe holiday traveling for everyone and remember to think about and pray for those in need, and then actually DO something about it.

xoxo,

Anita