Wrote a poem list night from a bad dream, inspired by the tower card. It’s kind of a magical, dark fairytale about trauma responses, in our most vulnerable relationships.

They’ll say she’s crazy,
For predicting the truth
That they all, deep down inside
Have the power to drop the other shoe

A whispers trace away
Only unknowns save the day
One can never tell
What moment it was
When she cast her own spell

It is madness
Born of a caged child’s tears
A feared tower built so high
She throws herself from it
Every few years

Each time it gets steeper
The price ever taller
The depth of this child’s fears
The moat grows deeper

What is this curse
of cunning she prays
She was only a girl,
had no choice but to stay

As one man betrayed
Mother looked away
As one man betrayed
Time pierced her Spirit barricade

Now with every tick
Of a clock no one sees
The awaited bomb deafens
Scoured by her company

Darkness lives within
Only the broken can satisfy her brokenness
Calling out, abandoned dogs,
Knowing she will someday free them

She will hold and coddle their egos
until they’ve had their fill
Then they run scared,
after her doubts crack their seals

“Why”, she silently moans,
“Why can I not look away
Why is it only this curse is my lot,
I am a Magnet to the highway.”

Because memory is all you know,
You cannot hold what does not hurt
You cannot know the solid
They feel that you yearn
For deeper seas
For sadder pain
For the rush of fury
For the pouring rain

Step down tonight
Lay down this dream
Carry me home, to the sky, dark Moon,
To my Queen.

My teacher card, the Tower
Language of Letting Go: Melody Beattie

It’s OK to need a nightlight

For those of us who fear darkness

There is no need to feel shame

We simply need a light to say yes

~

A blackout robs even perfect vision

Disorients, distorts reality

We feel deeply, everyone and everything

But inside it is murky, so to the light we flee

~

Violent hands have stolen Me

My sense of peace and security

Through a keyhole I peer

Into a luminous world, perceived normalcy

~

When you are silent, to one like me

It lets the monster out from under the bed

From the closet, from under the covers

In through the windows, crazy fantasies of dread

~

When you give the gift of some notion

Musical notes from your far off song

When you sing the chorus after my verse

Somehow the star shows me where I belong

~

Until I can learn the uncrossing spell

Which lights me from my inside

Please give me something, a match, a blaze

To quell this Jekyll and Hyde