Dedication: The Preacher Keith who surprised me with a musical instrument today at the coffee shop. Tears were brought to my eyes when he brought it out. He said to me, “You will do with this guitar what I cannot and will not. I want you to have it. I love your music, it is music ministry.” What a sweet man. Thanks dude. You rocked my day. Here’s a description of the new little baby, I named her “Preach” – “‘Cordoba Mini R’ features a solid spruce top paired with rosewood back and sides for a deep, full tone.” It sure sounds lovely. I played a few tunes with it today and learned the Gm chord almost immediately. I find that all my instruments have a chord they came with. My Mexican guitar came with A#m7 as her chord. The Ibanez was E. Straight up E.
Song: Precious Memories as sung by the infamous Jim Reeves. In his memory, this was written, “If I, a lowly singer, dry one tear, or soothe one humble human heart in pain, then my homely verse to God is dear, and not one stanza has been sung in vain.” Written by Linnea Crowther – I sang this song tonight on Facebook if’n ya wanna hear it. My Aunt Helen requested that this song be sung at her funeral. I sang it with tears in my eyes. She was 96 when she passed last year. Hard to believe.
Dear Humans, Autumn is sharing her bounty with us in color and for me in creativity! The album is coming along nicely. Some of the songs sound so beautiful, way more beautiful than I could have imagined. There is only one more left for me to record and we’ll be heading into a stairwell for that recording. Lo-fi effects in the house! I’m scheduling and rehearsing with the accompanying musicians who will soon be making the magic up in the studio. Drums, bass, mandolin, piano, guitar and maybe a few more surprises. Those souls who are helping me are doing sacred work for this project. I can’t wait to share our magic with you! If you’d like to donate to the studio costs, you may do so here for the album fundraiser! Thank you! Every bit counts! (You can also read about how I got here if you’re interested on the GoFundMe page as well.) We have almost reached our goal! Together you’ve helped to raise $4170 out of $5200! #SurrenderingToTheSacred
Tuesdays have been fun each week sharing songs with you all. I had no idea it would continue after the initial songs on the album were played, but it felt right to continue!
Last week, Crystal Bright and I played at a restaurant in Greensboro called “Lucky 32”. The crowd was lovely. Thank you to our dear Family who came in support of our music. Here is the link to our duo portion of the show (forgive the poor camera skills *shrugs shoulders* What can I say, I do my best…)
Love to everyone, bundle up and don’t just tell your people you love them, SHOW them!
ALM
This week in pictures:
Heart Rock found at school in the parking lot
All up in the studio with Mark!
A poem I wrote this week about leaves.
The Moon was lovely last week!
My as a tiny one, learning to invest in me!
Started a new watercolor this week.
Celebrating my first nametag with my new name! Anita Moore in the house!
Dedication: This week is dedicated to Sandie Kennedy. She introduced me to Tarot when I was sixteen or seventeen and I could not be more grateful. For years I was ashamed of my mystical frou frou leanings. Growing up in a Southern Baptist church by non-woo humans certainly never leant itself to any out of the ordinary behavior (of which I was constantly involved) or witchy shit of any kind. Sandie was the first adult I ever met who was all up in the woo and made no bones about it. No apologies ever about who she was or in what she believed. I truly needed a woman like that in my life without a dogma, without an agenda. On top of that she loved motorcycles and had some amazing children all of whom I love to this day. Of course her own children may say of her what they want; I contend that she was one of the first women in my life who I looked up to for being unapologetically who she is. Go Sandie. Thank you for being. Period.
Quote: On Friendship: “…when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet speaking on the sacred topic of friendship. Today, I was reminded of how grateful I am to be able to count on my fingers and toes all the humans I love dearly, yet do not see very often. To those friends time cannot touch. Those friends with whom no distance can divide the love. There are many of you, for I have lived a privileged life of travel and adventure. You are all treasured and measureless in your meaning to me in this world.
Song: Lizzo: Soulmate – for those of us out here in the singles world, there are days when solitude can be overwhelming. Lizzo makes that fizzle away into the fire that is her music. The emblazoned words, “and I gotta testify, I get flowers every Sunday, I’mma marry me one day… cause I’m my own soulmate, I know how to love me, I know that I’m always gonna hold me down… look up in the mirror like ‘damn she the one!’” FYI, don’t listen to this around kids unless your kids cuss as much as I do… Lizzo does not give a f***. https://youtu.be/cORNQkOdYw0 I am learning to be my own soulmate, for I cannot give of myself if I am not whole. We gotta do our own work. Do the work! Soul work! (I swear, I will say this to everyone, EVERYONE needs therapy. Everyone needs someone with whom to talk about your inner junk. We ALL have it and this culture does not teach us how to recognize our issues, much less DEAL with them in healthy ways.) Thanks Lizzo for being a bit of extravagant therapy on the way to work every other day. Thank you Emily Miller for hooking me UP.
Dear Humans, I have another quote to share with you. It’s a quote that rushed right out of my mouth when I was speaking with a dear friend in Florida this week. “To be a rebel is to ask for help.” (In America.). We were discussing how hard it is to ask for help and I added that it is sometimes hard even to know what you need, much less be able to ask for help with whatever it is! We all struggle with inner demons, whether we recognize them or pay attention closely enough with a mirror to examine from where they originate is a “whole ‘nuther story!”
There’s so much going on right now that I feel I’m on a roller coaster that hasn’t stopped. Thing is, it’s slowing down, I can feel it. I have antidotes, potions, remedies, medicine and restorative practices to slow down my heart rate and see things from a more objective perspective. There is a list of creative endeavors which give me great peace and excitement upcoming: Poetry Book, Moore On That podcast, and Surrendering to the Sacred album!
Without any upcoming shows, I don’t have a boatload of rehearsals or practice. I have been playing and singing, but only to myself (and to you people on Tuesdays!). It’s been quite nice! I have gone to a few shows, had some lovely dinners with friends, begun reading new books, worked on sewing projects, sold my bed and mattress, working on selling my vintage dresser and nightstand set, brought down my fall accoutrements and sweaters are EVERYWHERE. My newest books are called “Well-Read Black Girl” by Glory Edim, “Deeper Dating” by Ken Page, and the “Autobiography of my Mother” by Jamaica Kincaid. Tea at night and going to bed early are becoming habitual. I’m learning how to pray, how to incorporate it into my habits… this morning was filled with ritual and intention for the rest of the month of October. I’m struggling with addictions and habitual behaviors which are dictated by shame and guilt cycles. It is perplexing to try to find solutions to those cycles, but surely they exist. Bless all of you who read this and care, it means a great deal to me. I’m stepping down to rest a bit and to more carefully juggle my wild side with my disciplined self. This Summer was filled with work beyond my wildest dreams, madness which has helped me step closer to fulfilling goals of creating an album and living my life authentically and radical honesty and assertiveness. Cheers! Here’s to the Autumn of abundance and harvest. Let’s celebrate. (Minus the booze, thanks.)
This week in photos:
Enjoying sleeves, wool hats, vests, scarves, and my Paw Paw’s 83 Mazda pickup transporting beds across town. Damn I’m sleeping like a rock on my own mattress. *Thankful*This was my spread this morning. 1. Where to dig deeper (3 of cups) 2. Where to rest (9 of pentacles) and 3. What will transform with this balance? (The Hierophant) Still unpacking this set. It’s for focusing on the month of October.This cute greenie was outside the Eddy last Friday night.Although I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, this book on shame was so intense that I had to put it down. I haven’t yet picked it up again.Some of my most top played songs of late.
“Darlene” (link to FB video here)~ last (15th) song on my upcoming album: #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ This one is the most difficult to sing, but necessary for my growth and for this album to be complete. I thank my grandparents for being my safety when there was none elsewhere. I thank my sister for her brave soul. I thank the Sacred Spirit within me for shining when nothing else was lit.
Please consider donating to my album, 5% of all donations go to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.)
I have forgotten to tell you my name You may have seen me through the window The shop windows after the shop has closed dreaming of outside from where you’re looking in the dreams of my childhood are kept in the back behind a secret latch, a secret doorway Through which would I let wrong ones in and keep right ones out
There’s an old man playing a pedal steel to the sound of my tears
There’s a farmer growing the crops with the wetness of my tears
There’s a child painting the forest chasms of my green eyes with my tears
There’s a sleeping ancestor dreaming of waking in the caves dripping with my tears
I have forgotten to remember my name before I was me You may have searched the stars for to understand my longing Coming in from the cold, I wrap inside my soft sweater, stoke the fire within, and capture the memories of smoke in my hair