Tonight (July 23, 2021 10:37pmEST), la Luna gives explicit permission to begin manifesting your authentic life. Examine your values & any obstacles coming up for you. Ask this lunar energy to guide you to see & face those obstacles. You WILL be given insight. Make room for silence & listen. You will feel an encouraging hand at your back during this cycle as you deep dive into your value-driven desires & begin the work.
Tonight is the full “thunder” or “buck” moon in Aquarius, heightened tremendously by Leo season having begun yesterday! Beginnings are BLOSSOMING from the sky! Bucks’ antlers grow & they mature into adults! Storm season begins! The opposite tension b/t the sun & moon is exemplified even more w/these two energies. Examine your own living contradictions. Where can you begin to close those gaps. Where can you begin to live justly AND w/courage. Those are not easy feats my friends.
Ritual: Tonight, light a candle. Greet Spirit, your guides & ancestors. Write down your desires of transformation onto a sheet of paper as a petition to the moon. Speak your prayers passionately into a full glass of water while holding it w/both hands. Allow the water to sit in the moonlight overnight, outside, preferably where there will be no shadow cast into your glass. In the morning, write down the steps you foresee it will take to begin to see your desires made manifest by your actions. Speak aloud your prayers & the action steps necessary for fruition into your moon-charged glass & toward the rising, Eastern Leo sun. Ask for the courage & strength necessary to take the steps you’ve visioned & ask for guidance for those you cannot yet see. Bury your petition paper in a place that gets no shade.
This full moon is special! It is the 1st of 2 full moons in Aquarius this year. This one is at 1° (hence badass beginning energy) & the next will be at 29° (for FOLLOW-THROUGH & keeping your word to yourself). Bring the THUNDER OF YOUR HEART into reality tonight. I will post a tarot spread shortly to explore your values & visions. #fullmooninaquarius #fullmoontarotspread
A tarot spread for #FullMoonInAquarius & #leoseason🦁 🖤🤍🤎 Look at the card combinations and see what they have to say to each other as a pair. What is each grouping saying to the other groupings? Listen to what the cards are telling each other and through those messages, communicating with your elemental, authentic self. 🤎🤍🖤
I. Who is my authentic self? II. How best can I follow through with the work required to live my authentic life?
iii. What do I desire? IV. Where do I need to develop maturity?
V. What do I value? What are my values? (Feel free to pull a few cards here if you like) VI. Where am I not living up to my values?
VII. What am I living contradictions? In what ways do I believe one thing and do another? VIII. How can I live justly and courageously, limiting my contradictions?
tonight, 10:37 PM EST – We will enter the full moon in Aquarius accentuated by the new Leo’s sun. I hope the spread sheds light for you to live your most authentic life and helps your work of emancipation for all oppressed beings. In order to do the work of ending bigotry and exploration, we must ourselves uncover our own living contradictions. do you care about the environment and use fuel? How can you limit your fuel consumption? Do you benefit from racism even though you want to abolish it? How can you implement anti-racist practices in your life? Do you believe that people who are immigrants deserve safety and liberty? How can you implement into your budget donations for families broken apart at the border living in squalor or how can you support migrant farm workers?
We are more than just mountains and clouds we are destined for loftier things we are the star children of our ancestors’ dreams My ancestors’ progeny led to me and I release the cords of oppression and embrace the web of collective liberation A rocking boat in a tidal wave of ideas realizations and undeniable truths We find ourselves knocking on Poseiden’s door and find him, but he is not him he is they they are water and like water, they flow through our fingers cleanse our binary mold etching away at its bindings generation after generation We give thanks for that powerful, gentle, water of life Although I understand that it took a long time to arrive at now every ghost and shadow who stands between us I now release and call in the clarity of justice the freedom of music I rest upon the souls who came before and I activate those who come after.
This poem was inspired by a photo by @nature.esthete on Insta
And now for a life update! Who would have thought we would experience a pandemic? I know I didn’t see it coming, but it was one of my many epic fears since seeing the horror drama “28 Days Later” – in fact, I think that was the cutoff for me watching scary movies.
So many people have lost many precious loved ones and things during this time. My heart aches for all of it. Like many, this time has been rife with depression, increased anxiety and even hopelessness on days where the news was too much. Lighting candles almost daily for the dead and the sick, saying prayers of protection for the rest of us (I remained symptom and virus free thankfully.) and had to go about my business. Luckily, as a teacher, I could easily transfer my classes online. It took about 3x the effort and 3x the necessary understanding because I teach high-school students who are transferring to the college early, all the way to retirees who are looking for new jobs. Community colleges are awesome for diversity of experience and identity. Parents, helping their children learn from home and THEN having to sit and do their own online classes… I just can’t even imagine. How lucky and privileged I am – I couldn’t feel more compelled to give and to be of service.
THAT was the end of the Spring semester last year. The sudden transition was enormous, but we made it work somehow. For some, it didn’t work at all. Some gave up on school. Some thrived without having to be constrained by a classroom schedule. Some ached for the classroom and suffered without person to person instruction. I thrived only because I’d been doing remote teaching and training for 10 years prior. Some teachers did not have it so easy – the learning curve was short. I found my groove and life went on. I lost two of my dearest mother figures last year. Tuesday was Amy’s birthday. Mary Jane passed before the pandemic hit the United States. I hold them in my heart and try to ask them for Spirit advice in moments when I feel weak and confused. Reflecting on all of this is overwhelming, but, I turned in my grades Wednesday for the Spring semester of this year. While the next summer semesters will continue to be online (enrollment was down so I don’t actually teach a class the first 1/2 of the Summer – that is not so good for my pocketbook, but good for my time to create and make art and goodies.), I will begin teaching in the classroom again in the Fall. Autumn will be ripe with new beginnings, we hope, and I will get to see my students’ faces again. That will be awesome af.
So, speaking of making things, the pandemic gave me some inspiration to begin a new side hustle. Resilience Apothecary and Justice Lovers’ Tarot. I’ve been doing tarot card readings since I was 16 (professionally since 2019) and decided to make my personal growth and trauma work into a whole medicine cabinet of goodies. The Resilience Apothecary started because my friend Alfie said she’d buy my Florida Water if I sold it at the Freehand Market in Saxapahaw. I started to make some and bottle it and that led to many other botanical magicks. I made some divine smelling hand sanitizer and little travel sized Florida waters! Soon, I will begin making medicine bottles of hand-made local wild flower essences. I’m making sets of them to attune to each chakra into balance. The subtle vibrational energies of emotional dis-ease we experience can be assisted by working with the flower’s energetic imprint on Spring water. It is then preserved with white brandy. I’m super stoked and designing the labels now.
In the next week, I’ll be offering 15-20$ readings for friends and family to build up the tarot business aspect of Resilience Apothecary. Truly, this stuff feeds my soul and while I used to feel much shame around my spiritualism (I never talked about it with anyone because of past experiences of ridicule, judgement, and teasing.), I do not feel shame any longer. I give myself permission to follow a path that makes me happy. This work is not work; it makes me jovial, creatively inspired and satisfied. I love the feeling of making something that tickles and embraces the senses.
If you’re interested, I’ll be having the grand opening of my Etsy store soon where you can purchase the goods and even schedule tarot readings all in once place. ❤
I’m also writing my last report of the year for Democracy Matters. The students made it through the pandemic, keeping their. chapters intact and some even built new chapters. Online organizing became easier in some ways and more difficult in others. Social media took off, but attendance and participation in meetings dwindled. We are ALL looking forward to getting back on campus in the Fall. Follow DM on instagram!
TATA ForNow! TTFN in text speak. or TTYL. WTF is TXT SPK? It’s the shortening of the English language, disturbing in ways I can’t decribe. (As a teacher who has to read papers written by Siri dictation, spell check is a long-forgotten memory and punctuation is now in the form of hashtags and … goddess I could go on, but will refrain.). Until we meet again, “I’ll talk to ya when I’m supposed to!”
I thought I knew what busy was before this semester. My time-space continuum has always been up in the sky and often missing some continuity… but dang. I want COVID to be over and for us to be able to come out into the open, around other humans, without the anxiety of “I might die” creeping in the back of our minds. Then I can only look at a screen if I want to, not because I have to and teach in a classroom where my students and I can laugh together.
The world has been in uproar about elections, the environment, racism, bigotry of all kinds, domestic terrorism by right-wing extremists ready to take down the country in their G.I. Joe gear militia nonsense, badass civil rights leaders passing (John Lewis, RBG to name a couple…), and COVID-19. Damn! Guess what!? We are resilient, a hard to kill lot. Ask Mother Earth. LOL *funny, not funny*. Surely, to Her we are worse than roaches, bedbugs and termites combined! Yet, I am of another mind also when it comes to this rollercoaster, rife with ridiculous radical retrogression rigamarole. Part of me believes, in the very moment, that we just ARE. Things just are. We exist and that’s that. This viewpoint is both liberating and beautiful, nihilist and fruitless. Liberating and beautiful because it allows for me to live in the moment and choose to see life as a gift. Nihilist and fruitless because that vision allows me to sink into a hole of despair. Today, I choose liberating and beautiful and quote some advice from Mr. Lipbone Redding. I can recite it to myself in moments of fear and anxiety, “I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.” It is certainly a privileged statement, when I think of families imprisoned in internment camps or nearly perishing in boats escaping war, yet, no matter who you are or what you are experiencing, your perspective is the only thing you have.
Your perspective is your only freedom. Your perspective can save your life and your perspective can kill you. Today, I choose to believe I AM exactly where I am supposed to be – anchoring myself to the moment, with all its imperfections, inherited, unearned privileges, and its beauty. I give thanks for the divine, the souls in this life I’ve encountered, and this life, filled with so many amazing opportunities, every moment, to do better and to choose love over fear or bitterness. Thank you. Thank You. Thank YOU.
I’ve suggested reading the 4 agreements to probably hundreds of people by now. It’s a book that seriously calls out the way our lives can go, however we choose. It’s a life-path to which it is definitely worth subscribing. “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz
On to the news and away from my habitual pontificating! Soon, now that school is almost over, I will be going back into my little homemade recording studio and laying down tracks for this album #SurrenderingToTheSacred ~ I’m also going to be releasing a single that invites you to see the world through the eyes of a graveyard. …a lovely, ghostly vision.
Join me on Tuesday evenings for my 8:30pm livestream on either Facebook or Instagram! I love you!
Dedication: This weeks newsletter is dedicated to Harry Phillips. I am honored to know him. He literally wrote the book on native wildflower propagation. https://uncpress.org/book/9780807841310/growing-and-propagating-wild-flowers/ He is an amazing human: kind, generous, thoughtful, an unparalleled listener and takes the cake for best garden in town, literally all of them. Harry and I have spent much time together of late when, after several months of dealing with pain, he went in for an operation and is now home in recovery. (Details are personal, of course.). I had the honor of spending time with Harry through the process and am the better for it. He is sacred to my community and a dedicated person of service and love. So grateful for you and glad you are now home and healing.
Quote: “Isle of View” – the note my dear, late friend Mary Jane would write on all the gifts she ever gave me. I love you too Mary Jane. The losses of you and Amy have been ever-present in my daily existence, just beneath the surface of keeping it together. My world is certainly not as bright without the two of you. Sending love out there to whatever farthest galaxy of isles you may be upon.
Song: Woman of Heart and Mind – Joni Mitchell – https://youtu.be/4rG8qxouRL4 “I am a woman of heart and mind, with time on her hands, no child to raise… you come to me like a little boy and I give you my scorn and my praise… you think I’m like your mother, or another lover, or your sister, or the queen of your dreams… or just another silly girl, when love makes a fool of me…”. Sometimes when I hear this song, I think of other people. Sometimes, I think of me. This whole album, the live versions of some of these songs… stunning and mezmerizing. Here’s a link to the entire album: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF_4fzpgIptXrbCem3WkttAEexBVFQ_Lj When I hear Joni Mitchell’s music, I think of my own experience of being a woman.
Dear Humans, I write to you from my bed. The window is open and the cool, night air is flowing in through the window. Pepita the beautiful and soft, muted tortie kitty is laying on my left arm as I type. She is purring, or as my grandfather would say, “She’s got her motor runnin’.”
Tonight, I decided to forego the presidential debate, cause fuck that. I have absolutely no desire to watch those two go at it. I will, however, have a front row seat and a bowl of popcorn at the ready next Tuesday night at 9pm EST to watch Kamala Harris debate with Mike Pence. THAT is going to be an interesting evening because, seriously, when was the last time you heard Pence say a word? Mostly he’s just standing behind Donald, looking smug. I can’t bring myself to listen to either of them, Trump or Biden speak. When I vote, I will be voting for a cabinet of people who hopefully will hopefully bring some heart and compassion back into the White House, it will certainly not be for Biden himself – I really don’t like him and I feel cheated because Bernie would smash this dude. If I seem a bit negative, it’s because I’m pissed, more pissed than before, when Bernie’s chance was stolen by the STATUS QUO-maintaining republicrats (republic rats, lol, that was what spell-check wanted me to put there). In all honesty, I am ready to see the whole thing crash and burn. We need to vision, together, somehow, a place where we can, seriously answer dear Rodney’s plea and ALL GET ALONG. That’s all I have to say about that.
Tonight, I sang to my friends and decided to write this newsletter instead. Last week, I had to support my bestie who lost her dear feline. That’s a tragedy. I know that feeling; it’s the worst, especially if it’s sudden. I’m glad we were together and broke bread in memory of Juno, the cat who turned Maggie into a cat lady. 🙂
I’d been feeling burnt out. However, few weeks ago, I took a rejuvenating trip up to the mountains. We trotted around waterfalls and made bangin’ campfire dinners. This dude is an amazing human and I’m feeling a relaxed sort of love lately. It has put a sweet, calm and cozy sheen on everything that otherwise sucks (insane amounts of work and sitting at a computer, temporal differentiation struggles, and nature deprivation).
Music has taken a back seat. It kind of sucks. I miss it. I felt relief tonight, along with trepidation, when getting back into the swing of my Tuesday online music mini-concert. I like the candle-light, parlor feel of the studio and plan to make some music for the album in there weekly, now that I’ve penciled it into my schedule. Wish me luck.
Wish us all luck. These are Goddamn hard times. Let me tell you though, we are not only going through some tremendous dismantling, destructive, and disorienting times, but we are also making the way for a higher consciousness, immense learning and massive changes, unveiling of what was once hidden. How we handle these – with courage or with strife – will determine the future of our existence on this planet.
Today, I may seem down, but that’s not a constant – I choose LIFE. I choose joy. I choose you.
Upcoming Shows: Tuesdays on Instagram or Facebook, live at 8:30. OCt 7th will be a special 30 minute show so I can tune into the Vice Prez debates. Get’cherr popcorn maw, we are gonna have us a brawl.
…the day I decided to marry my Spirituality. What a charm!
Dedication: I dedicate this TuesDay NewsDay to Athene, Goddess of Justice. I intend to honor her in shining my light. There is no reason for me to hide it. I have been too concerned with worrying about others’ thoughts and less about how I show up in this world. No longer!! Athene carries upon her shoulder a white owl reflecting her clarity of vision – it can see and hunt in the dark. She was born from Zeus’ head after he tried to prevent her birth by eating her mother, Metis, Goddess of Wisdom. Can’t keep THIS one from shining her light. Nope. Her convictions are birthed from pursuit of truth and the recognition that there must be a battle to uphold truth with logic, diplomacy and creativity. Her weapons as gifts to the likes of Odysseus and Perseus always had to be used with intelligence, foresight and planning. She was chaste. She valued service over personal desire and put principles over passions – the mind has the ability to make choices upon reflection, mastering instincts. Athene blessed and “rendered valuable service to mankind. She taught the art of taming horses, and fostered skills and crafts such as weaving and embroidery. Her activities were concerned not only with useful work, but with artistic creation as well.” She nurtured warriors who protected peace. (Quoted and paraphrased from the Tarot card Justice of the Mythic Tarot, by Juliet Sharman-Burke and Liz Green) I pulled this card today in a “present-time” spread which threw my jaw to the ground and kept it there the whole time.
Song: Cakewalk – by Taj Mahal – (One of my favorite songs of all time and reflects how good I feel today. ❤ “Throw your big leg over me mama, I might not feel this good again…” (But I will. Promise)
Dear Humans: Wow. What an insane time to be alive! What a blessing to see all the ruckus going on in this world – the bravery and passion of people standing up in the streets against police brutality and racism. Bigotry of all kinds! Your time is up! Your number has been disconnected! Your mother has just arrived at the party and you’re being pulled out by your ears while drunk on the power you thought you had, but you don’t. Not anymore! It was an illusion! Of course, I know it won’t go down without a fight. The fight is coming. I feel privileged to be part of it.
I feel grateful to be a teacher in these times. I feel honored and blessed to have a voice, a platform, and musical and artful proclivities. Thank you to all of you out there who have gifted me with your love and support (financial and the gifts of your time) through all this. Musicians the world over are having to get creative, even more-so than before, to make ends meet. I’m so glad to have my teaching job (though teachers make pennies compared to the work they do).
This week, as mentioned before, is the beginning of my 30-day yoga challenge. Today is day 5. After I finish writing this, I will be doing my next video. (Yoga By Adriene – look her up on youtube. You’re welcome) I’m so proud of myself. That is not something I have said very much… reflecting on my life. I am exercising healthy boundaries, discerning what feels good and doesn’t, and exploring how to ease into things that feel difficult at first.
Have you ever challenged yourself to do something you’ve felt guilty for NOT doing for years? This time, I wrote down my dedication (see two blog posts back if you want to read it). I deduced WHY this objective and goal is important. In order to show up as the passionate and compassionate singing teacher warrior I know I can be, I have to make sure the vessel in which I occupy is healthy. I have to make sure my Spirit is healthy. I have to re-parent the little kid inside me who is afraid of failing, who is angry at injustice cause she knows how that feels, and who wants to play and make art all the time (she never got to really play and was always older than she should’ve been growing up). Right now, for the first time, there is beginning to be integration between my body, mind, and Spirit. Holy cow. The Tarot spread I had today basically described my current situation to a T. Here’s the story I read from those cards:
I amthe young adventurer on a mission with a vision (2 of Wands). The vision is the King of Wands who has mastered the power to manifest vision with creative imagination. I am supported by Athene (Justice card) and need to devote to her my honor – she is the Spirit embodying my self-knowledge. Her chastity gives birth to artistic creativity in service to the greater good and fostering peace with ethical implementation. I know who I am and have the potential to be through her wisdom and devotion to truth and justice. This vision is possibly blocked by choices of the flesh and perceived worldly power over my Spirit. (Lovers card – reversed). I am making choices in real life – at this moment I am choosing Lady Justice – my values are being tested. I have a choice between love or a sacred, creative activity at this time. I believe Love IS my sacred, creative activity now. Every time I make art, seek out truth and teach my students how, and when I work for justice, I am praying a literal prayer of activism and devotion. At this time, I must look carefully at the implications of my choices in the past. Heartache, physical pain and ill heath are old love. Creative Spirit is new love.
I must waitin my romantic relationshiprealm (The Hanged Man) and make the voluntary sacrifice for my own best interest (to see through to the achievement of this vision). After the Wheel of Fortune’s challenge of fate, I must use the lesson of the Hanged Man, understanding and willingness to put trust in the Unseen – knowing there will be anxieties yet, also knowing it will all be okay. I must marry my Spirit (10 of Cups). This decision augers ongoing emotional contentment and permanence in the realm of the heart. Psyche marries Eros; gives this creature wings to fly. I will withstand any challenge offered by Life. I no longer need to hide my Love. I can let my love light shine. Take heed, (7 of Pentacles reversed) I am making a choice. I can either reject something Divinely inspired or choose security and safety and risk mundane perpetuity. This decision comes to every person who attempts to manifest creative energy. Also take heed, (9 of Cups – reversed) REMEMBER that everything has been done up to now in loyalty to your inner feeling values. This moment is fulfillment of your wish – self-validation, from your commitment to your inner-development. Do not forget how far you have come. This is a reward for your efforts. You may find yourself underwater, but remember and be grateful, you can still breathe, magically, and despite the odds.
At the heart of my journey lies my biggest inner strengths, resilience and positivity through chosen, constructive nostalgia. (6 of Cups) Through turmoil, I have the capability to be at peace with myself. I am cultivating that power at this very moment. From hardship, there are positive, good memories for which to be grateful and from them I gain knowledge of myself. There is stillness and serenity in the lessons of the past and I choose that serenity and stillness, that solemn honoring which sprouts from life’s disappointments and pain. From those experiences, I have the capabilities to move on with resolve and reflection.
Believe in your vision enough to try, these messages say clearly. Firmly grip the fire of imagination and go forth with the hands of Spirit and Love at your back and the temple of Justice upholding you from below.
This week in pictures:
Upcoming gigs: Next Tuesday! 8:30 Livestream on Insta and Facebook (my FB anitalorrainemusic page)