anitalorraine.com

Musician and Activist devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage


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Fundraiser Starts Today!! Help me to make my first album!! 🎶💜💓💜🙏💜💓💜🎶

www.gofundme.com/anitalorrainemusic

Poem about the process and #SurrenderingtotheSacred continued from the last episode to catch yall up:

The Mystery Still

They used to call that old white lightning “moonshine” in these hills

How many lips of other those words or family ties it breaks and kills

Strawberry apple pie or dark cherry kinds

But I found a new flavor my fingers and heart longed to find

Paid heed to the unanswered questions I spent too much time tryin to answer

Somewhere down the line I met a spirit and she bade me to release her

She gave me the keys to an old wooden shed

Her hair was long and dark, she was only 3 and her granddad’s hair was red

She came from the deep, A dark despair trail of loneliness

She rows up from the ashes and held me through the hunger and distress

In that shed, she showed me the silver, the copper and the gold

She showed me the jewels inside me, once I thought I couldn’t hold

She said the way it worked was this,

“you fill it up here and it makes a little hiss,

What you put in it is who you’ve been

What comes out that mystery still is your destiny, my friend”

The mystery still, a belly full of unknown

Stands in that shed just waiting to be blown

Open side, all the ingredients are there

You

“You just gotta believe” she said, “in yourself, if you dare”

I’ll show you the way cause you couldn’t even see

No matter how hard you tried, that spirit… What will be will be

“and that’s the magic” she said to me

Of sacred mysteries that come from pain and grief

Do you know her name, down this path you must go

Of surrender and sorrow of joy you can know

This still don’t make moonshine, but the Moonglows here still

Upon deep waters, wet and a tear stained two dollar bill

The birds are all calling and cannot be boxed in

Your dreams are free and aloof just like the wind

Ask for them to come and to you they will find

Their way through the core, the ground, from the mines

The caves you dug a long time ago

We’re dug by the same shovel that now makes you grow

This girl she smiled, as I sat down in awe

Bowed my head in silence, in reverence; I had no flaws

Suddenly I was sacred when I drink from that still

I’d learn the hard way, then she screamed, her voice hard and shrill

“your mantle, your fireside, your magic, I live inside.

You must off and stoke the fire and feed me” she cried

You never are done, don’t think you’ve made it

Each day, remember to keep the right flame lit

Don’t let it go out, else you’ll have to start over

And axe to this still, and your spirit sinks lower

Out of reach, out of time, out of luck, out of rhymes

Just put back on your skates and roll outside all the lines

You’re still is your own,

Every seed you have soon

Weights and yearns for your return

Build another fire to burn

If you still don’t know what this still is about

Think of a soul, longing to get out

As in distill, intoxicate your beautiful self

With the mystery of what is, take it down off the shelf

You open a portal and let spirit in

You release your control over who it is you’ve been

That little girl who showed me the way

She’s a firestarter, pyromaniac it play

She can blow up some shit because she knows no better

But refined… She is genius and shakes her tail feather

The horizon cannot hold her, this child of God and Moore

She put in the time and said Grace for her store

This mystery still she’s found out how to use

Is a vertical prayer, open to gnosis and truth

I’m learning to use it, growing day by day

Excepting my feelings, no judgment, and a loving and kind away

As she hand me the keys and I return to make my shine

She lies back, relaxes and daydreams all the time

I long to filter out what I’ve been told versus what I know

My innermost yearnings, the balance, the flow

The gut, the tingles, the pangs and the blood is still warm

I’ll tell me the truth, like a pouring down storm

It’s like talking to God, From a sacred, me – shaped telephone booth

The mystery still takes me, shapes me, and provides me with the truth


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In dreams

I am sitting here in the General Store of Saxapahaw.. most likely only a few days from the beginning of my Moon.. I know this because I am crying and sniffling out of nowhere.  Roy Orbison came on the speaker set and I started slightly bawling.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbxsmcT7GOk

The next song was Under The Boardwalk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyzCccndc2w

Now playing: Be My Little Baby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzhbGaCwBzs

I say, “JEEZ! What is UP with the radio station today???”

I just found this on the internet. I’m going to look for hearts again today.

I must eat my yummy omelet and then go for a jog.  Outside.  Because it’s beautiful.

Now playing: This Magic Moment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpePWo56zm4

I know why all these songs are making me nostalgic, I used to sweep and mop the floor at my first job (Angelo’s Italian Restaurant) for hours to an amazing oldies station…   Forever ’til the end of time……….

On this day in history, 5 minutes ago I was crying, now I’m bopping my head.   That’s what happened.  So there.   Also, there’s a 50% chance I ate at Skids Drive In on this day in history.


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Try and Catch The Wind, Dreams and Things

I watched the Presidential State of the Union address last night, and went to bed rather deflated.  I was impressed by his bold nature, but I wish he would have talked about Syria and all the violence going on around the world.  Drones would have been a topic I would have liked to hear more about.  I am glad he talked about gun violence.  I am happy he talked about raising minimum wage.  It would have been nice to hear a stand AGAINST the environmentally dangerous process of fracking and the Keystone XL pipeline and FOR publicly financed elections.  He did give a shout out on how corporations and rich individuals are flooding politics, but we need MORE than a shout out, and that’s where all of us come in…. so on to today…  In 1960, France detonated its first nuclear bomb and last year on this day, Washington state become the 7th state to legalize same-sex marriage.  GO WASHINGTON STATE!  I’ve always said that when EVERYONE can get married, then I’ll think about it.

…This morning, around 4am EST I awoke to pee and then went back to bed.  I don’t think I slept very much after that, in and out of dream land where everything is cloudy, yet very clear.  Dreams are things that remain an enigma to me, when I wake up I wish sometimes that the dreams were real.  Sometimes when I wake up, I’m thanking my lucky stars that it was only a dream.  I dream violent and murderous dreams, where I’m fighting a battle with an old enemy – one that in waking life truly ruined my family.  Sometimes when I’m not battling, I am creating and flying and doing things that I have never done.  In my waking dreams I dream

about being like Mother Teresa and inspiring hope and love on all things and making the world a better place, all the while highlighting injustice in the world.

I dream about having a garden that I eat from and also feed others.  I dream about having a solar garden too, that helps cut down on energy costs.  I dream about living in a hole in the ground, with a big, round, and wooden door.

Image

 

I dream about graduating and receiving my Masters degree and I dream about speaking Spanish.  Sometimes I think I dream in a language I’ve never heard of.

 

(((((((((((((((((This is me (pictured to the right) with BIG dreams!)))))))))))

 
When I awoke again around 9 this morning, I looked out the window and saw a beautiful red cardinal.I dream about raising children (not my own) who have no parents and giving them love.  I dream about making music and being badass, singing around a fire of loved ones.

 

With a huge smile I made up my bed (while still in it of course), placed Cornelius and Hobbes in their rightful places above my flannel covered pillows, and put on today’s clothes: a re-sweatshirt made by Jill Boogie and my favorite jeans.  I lit a stick of smelly-good incense, thought of a fond memory, smiled, then went downstairs to see that I’d
This song is also amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=4_GgE7zF3wo&feature=fvwp “Sun”received sweet message from Jill.  I love her.  She sent me lyrics to a Donovan song – First There is a Mountain.  This reminded me of this song, that I love so much: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H19qNpG46A8 “Catch the Wind”