change your fate | anitalorraine.com

Prayer I wrote after my therapy appointment on Monday before I went to sleep.

TuesDayNewsDay Vol.1, Issue 8 November 27th, 2018

Quote(s): “How much time are you willing to invest in someone who doesn’t/can’t show up for you when you need them?” Good question. (This is my therapist asking me this question about people to whom I am often romantically attracted. So many of them are seemingly unavailable in some way, shape, or form.)

Song: Do You Dream – Jonathan Byrd Pretty funny, I have so many songs of his stuck in my head all the time. Could be ’cause I get to see him almost weekly down at the Kraken. It’s a treat; if you live anywhere nearby and you’ve never been, please go and listen, participate, and enjoy the magic. This particular song was written by Matt Fockler – a man, according to Jonathan, would rather not be famous, but he writes breathtaking songs.

Dedication: I dedicate this week’s TuesDayNewsDay to my unending friend and supporter Michelle D. She is always up in this blog and I love her dearly. This is the kind of person who I would NEVER doubt I could call if need be. I look forward to spending some good time with her soon for the holiday season (which I’m not fond of, but I do it for my friends ~ haha).

Dear Humans, This week I am super excited about getting better! Last week I wasn’t able to write and I’m proud of myself for not feeling obligated to TuesDayNewsDay to the detriment of my health! Many lessons have been learned over the course of the last two weeks. The lessons involve love and creativity, priorities and appreciation.

LOVE, PRIORITIES ~So, you know one thing I miss about being in a relationship with someone? The snuggling. (Head out of the gutters you gigglers you!) These last two weeks have been riddled in pain and sickness. There’s nothing I would like better than to snuggle with someone in my socks and pajamas, someone to bring me chicken soup and who’d scratch my head as I’m falling asleep. That said, Pepita and I did just fine. ~ The lessons of this longing is that it is only that, an emotion, a desire, something that I can provide for myself and when the time comes and the Sacred Spirit deems it’s the right time, I’ll get myself some good snugglin’. I’ve met people who I think I’m attracted to, but I have learned to listen to myself and to discern those questions, “Is this a good idea?” If you have to ask, more than likely you ought to be saying nope REAL quick. I learned about attraction and priorities. I’ve made a goal to focus my energy on spending time with people who I KNOW appreciate my company, those with whom I don’t have to guess… In a repeat pattern of constantly performing or even unconsciously scheming for my mothers attention or appreciation, in my attraction of most (not all) people so far, it has been with those whom I recognize energetically as a mirror of that circumstance. Until I can stop this energetic pattern, I am destined to learn this lesson over and over again. Detaching with love is something I am learning to do – the concept is good, but difficult in application without some sort of spiritual base in self-love. That is what I am working on. Both simultaneously? Other resources if you find your are in love with an addict or have an addict/mental health issue/unknown-unnameable struggle with someone you love:

Understanding Detachment

♥Attracting Healthy Relationships

CREATIVITY, APPRECIATION ~ So you know that moment when you’re “in the zone” or all of a sudden, you’ve got to write something down because it’s coming straight from Source, or the Sacred Spirit? I have this happen as a songwriter and as a creative person. If I get a lyric or idea to pop into my head, I have to make sure I at least jot it down and if circumstance allows, I go with it, pick up my guitar and start putting words to music in minutes. Or while I’m sewing, drawing, painting or organizing space, that’s the zone I’m talking about. What works for you? That’s what I want to apply to the “difficult” part of my music business, or even more generally, my life business. The business of my life. I’m going to Al-Anon weekly, therapy weekly, meeting with my Al-Anon sponsor weekly, playing shows with different amalgamations of bands, mentoring students with Democracy Matters and doing guest speaking, going to as many political involvement meetings/actions as I can, writing this newsletter, walking every day (except when I’ve been sick), and of late, preparing with paperwork etc to start teaching at Alamance Community College (If you don’t recognize this link, you should most definitely see Bull Durham, the movie, as soon as possible.) That’s a lot. Maggie says my schedule gives her anxiety. Sometimes it does me too, but mostly it feels good to have my income from several different sources and to be prioritizing my mental health for the first time in my life. Today I had a wonderful workshop with my friend Christine focusing on identifying one’s purpose and tapping into the Sacred Spirit to inform my life decisions. I’m going to sit with that for a while.

Musically, I have been creative of late. I have two new songs and exciting plans for several shows coming up. My two new songs are not diametrically opposed, but they do contradict one another in ways. “The Butterflies of Love” is about how we feel in the beginning of a crush, when we don’t need to know anything else other than we feel SO good! “There’s someone who’s been on my mind. My heart skips a beat every time. The way I feel for him, it’s plain. This fire I can barely contain.” The other, “Skipping Heart Stones” is about how it feels to be ghosted. That feeling sucks. “Trains don’t wait, they never say goodbye. This heart in knots and tied. Time has made us ghosts tonight, and all I can do is cry.” Skipping Heart Stones is the first song I’ve written on the ukulele in a while. Many thanks to my late friend Ben Clark for that beautiful instrument gift. I miss him being in this world. I’ll record these songs and share them with you all sometime soon! I’m going to play them at the #NightmareXmasPajamaJam with Crystal Bright and Emily Musolino December 19th. Come on out. We’ll be at the Cats Cradle Backroom. ❤ Our photo shoot was awesome. Check out the photos from this week for teasers!

Thanksgiving was nice. I enjoyed spending time with the grandparents, sister and bro-in-law, nieces and nephews. Eating with my adopted family was lovely also, so much food. They have the tradition of going around the table and saying for what they are thankful. Always a teary-eyed tradition. Then got to go to a chill Saxapahooligan Friendsgiving evening where there was a fire, music, and I was gifted a banjo from our host Michael. Awesome gift, can’t wait to play it. I’ll soon be listening to Rhiannon Giddens for some tips!

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek : Do you believe that the Universe or Spirit or God or Goddess or whatever is working on your behalf? I am challenged by this notion, but I see how it could be beneficial in living life. (Currently pondering this very concept. I’ll get back with ya.) 😉

Upcoming Shows:

Fri, November 30th – Anita Lorraine with Bruce Horvath https://tinyurl.com/StoneSoupShow 7:00-9:00pm, Saxapahaw @ #TheEddyPub (This is a benefit for SAFE – please bring canned veggies, 1 pound bags of rice or pinto beans, boxes of macaroni and cheese, any kind of pasta, pasta sauce, hamburger helper, called fruits, canned tuna, non-food stamp items: laundry detergent, dish soap, shampoo, kleenex, toilet paper, dog and cat food. ALL tips from this event will also be going to SAFE. Please come, even if you can only drop in to donate food items, all is appreciated.)

Fri, December 14th – Singing with Radars Clowns of Sedation at the Kraken! Special Guest Will Easter – Last Clown show of the YEAR!

Wed, December 19th – #NightmareXmasPajamaJam – Crystal Bright headlining, Emily Musolino and Anita Lorraine opening! Special guests, Robert Griffin and many many more! PS Im going to sing my favorite xmas song, it rhymes with finch and is about a furry green creature who tortures a whole town obsessed with Christmas.

This week in pictures:

Online workshop with Christine Clifton today!Hilarious meme from Jessica Lanyadoo, one of my favorite astrologers. Thanks to Jill Boogie for that turn on! Me and Pepita snuggling in ALL the pajamas.Stayin’ hydrated in my socks.Photoshoot score – photo by Chad Perry of C Perry Studios!I love hair and makeup. ❤ so fun.Me n Bruce playing at the Bottle and Can last Thursday. Photo credit my friend David who came to visit over the weekend. We ate sushi like a buncha bosses on Saturday night before I was accosted with the sickness. Another great shot courtesy of David. A drawering from after I read a letter from a dear friend in Alabama. I’ll be sending this to him in the mail.New book I’m excited about reading. Also, if you haven’t listened to “Thank U” by Alanis Morrisette lately, I would highly suggest it. This re-visitation was as per suggestion of Rook at the coffee shop, totally worth every moment. The oldest niece and two nephews. We trotted about Saxapahaw the day after Thanskgiving. I refuse to shop, so I get to look after this crew while the fam battles lines to buy stuff. I’d rather hang with these hooligans. Full moon over Saxapahaw. Happy birthday to my friend Ernest! Such wonderful friends. Chocolate. Books. Soup. Love.