anitalorrainemoore

Musician devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage


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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 16, October 22

Today’s issue is dedicated to Ruth Gordon! What a firecracker! Tonight I decided to do the Cat Stevens song, “If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out.” The character, “Maude” from the movie, “Harold and Maude” made such an enormous impression on me, this whole day should be dedicated to her glorious soul.

Image result for ruth gordon maude gif
Image result for ruth gordon maude gif
“Do you know that woman? She just stole my car!” says the priest…

Quote:

Image result for harold and maude quotes

Song: My Tuesday video series covers the song of the week! https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2464801173804147

Dear Humans! There is so much news. There have been some ups and downs over the last week – but today, I’m high on life! The last few days, I have been compiling and digitizing old poetry I wrote back in the day! Some of it absolutely sucks! (That’s my judge-y adult being unfairly mean to my little teenage self who was just hurting a lot and didn’t know what to do with herself.) Nevertheless, there’s a TON of material. I found songs I’d not finished, my eccentric, fairy-tale prose… love letters to my old boyfriends, dreamy poems about my girlfriends and their amazing selves, there’s even a poem about a fuzzy little spider. Here’s that one:

Little jumpin’ spider

i saw you by the window 

oh little jumpin’ spider, 

biggest I ever saw

hairy little arms, squinty little eyes,

fuzzy and twitchy, black as night time sighs

fangs I couldn’t see

oh but I know 

they were waiting just for me

oh little jumping spider 

I’m gonna take you out

cause you know I can’t have you 

here inside my house
~ July 9 2014

Another poem I found was one I wrote while falling in love, it’s precious to me:

Oh. Dear Honey.

You know just how to say

The words that make my insides play

The truest forms of pristine feelings

They escape me through my Smile

They exit through my Exhale

They permeate me in the side of this Time

You’ve awakened a thousand sleeping Fairies

A million bells of stillness are now ringing

An eternity of rustling leaves and moonbeams

A rousing on deep waves of blue and green

I fear not, my eyes are open.

Smooth

Silent, like the wings of a night bird

Calm, yet floating on the clouds of sunset

Giving in to the excitement of the tide

Pushing and pulling and swirling and mingling

Miners, sailors, and gems of old

sing their songs to Us, stories untold

Phantasms in the dark, wrapped inside ourselves

Safe and tender perceptions

Your voice in my soul

I needn’t search for your smile Shadow

Its imprint has been signed onto the whole side of my spirit

I hear you.

You don’t have to speak

I would not be afraid to open my eyes

in your downhill stream

Let us fly

Fly away far into the day

Explore each cave

Sing new songs

Make new Love

~ August, 2010

 

Amazing… I love poetry and painting. Right now, I am in the midst of a new watercolor/ink painting right now. There was an old wooden calligraphy boxed set at the Goodwill the other day, it’s now in my home. So much sharing to do, so much more to transcribe into digital format. Once everything is entered, then begins the editing and placement of letters in exactly the right place. Truly, I want to create a poetry book and for it to be an adult pop-up book. Many of my friends and also my sister have done self-publishing; I may go that route, though it is expensive. I will also pitch the idea to some publishers and see what happens! Last week, a fellow professor at Alamance Community College suggested that I submit some of my poetry into the faculty writing contest. The prospect was exciting so I obliged. Maybe they’ll like them! I’m going to paste the ones I entered here – so you can read all 4 of them as well. 🙂

1. Status Update:

Anita Moore

‘s turning a corner ~ a path to health and clarity 


A non-doldrum roar of cleaning it all the fuck out ~ 

body and spirit ~
love and truth.

I have strands of positivity reaching into the future


I am envisioning that enlivened journey of my Self. 


The yellow-brick road leads to Anita’ville,


the badass grateful go-getter, 

with a no-stop’em medidationary attitude of the Now-Tao.


There are lilies on my tongue and roses in my nose, 
golden light shining right out of my ass. 


Purging and seeing what’s real and what’s not. 


Keeping in the checkmark those stories I tell myself and refuse to listen to the ones that aren’t true. 


No assumptions. No generalizations. Be specific. Be on point. 

Be loving and trusting and open and true. 

Be the brave believer and the courageous vulnerable one.


Be clear and focused and heart-of-gold style out there ~ and right here. 


Breathing and walking and singing and plotting my own enigmatic Now.

This world needs more love and active voices of the light, 

in the streets, in the claiming of what we deserve ~ clean water and fresh air to breathe, 

true voices and something we can believe in: system-change, not puppet change. 

Seething with light-force, I know I am in the heart of God.

I am in the heart of God. I am in the heart of God.

 

2. Decisions and Serendipity

To sit

feel the breeze on my skin

coughing and chatter

cars rolling by

birds hopping, pursuing scraps

the baby talks, indistinguishable from the noise, yet distinctly knowable

Feeling pensive

sure of where I’m from

choosing to go forward into the 

u

n

k

n

o

w

n

no compass

no map

only my own encouraging word

co-mingling with my discouraging chorus

 

Nodding

a tip of the hat to the Builder

the Architect of this vessel

I see that entity as me

still small

yet more vast than I can possibly imagine

 

Others see her

historically I have not

Such privilege to get to sit down in an empty room

choose to listen

rather than speak

I can taste my dreams

I can hear the music

It’s not above my head, heaven IS.

it is within

 

3. Little Girls

We are born fearless, named after our grandmothers

Then we are hushed, beaten and ashamed

We then built walls, taller than we’ll ever be

Beyond the clouds, those walls protect you and me

Then we grow up and learn to see

those walls which fortified us, kept us from being free

They’ve become a cage, we must find a way to escape

To get to the light Beyond our enclosed landscape

We inherit the strength and strife of our ancestors

generations of oppressed children in cages

Self-built and outsourced

yet, we blame ourselves for so much more

What if I told you it’s all okay?

What is you had permission to thrive?

What if in an instant, you tore down your walls?

What if you believe you can fly?

I’ve been beaten, assaulted, invaded, invalidated and thrown

Boundaries a foreign concept, and now I’ve learned

That I have a right to one or two of my own

It is my time and time for you

This ripeness of this moment will free you

Like it has freed me, all you have to do is surrender

to the sacred survivor inside you

That little girl who saved you

who gave you the tools to save yourself

She is your higher power

She is your salvation

Treat her with respect and compassion

Cradle her when things become tough

She carried you, now you must carry her

She didn’t deserve her oppression

She didn’t ask for a beating

She called out for help and her mother never answered

She has you now, her protector

 

I knew a dual world

Two extremes in life

A cradling and an abandonment

A vision of everlasting love and a nightmare of neglect

A plethora of mentors and guides, a whole population of me-shaped limitations

A society meant to hold me down and also the privilege and the choice to rise above

I am finding my way back to the Looking Glass

A child of Neptune sternly placed among the ills of Life

Too forcefully unsupported and left with your homemade guilt

There is true wisdom in these fantasies

Yet they were too early extinguished, I am finding my way back now

You can also find yours

The path to the box of liquid filled rainbows

The visions lie beyond what we can see

The inspiration my little girl has left for me

She still has her key, it was hidden and now is bright

Shining by the light through the keyhole of the drawer where she buried it out of sight

 

4. The Muses Groove

This rhythm is rolling, 
rolling around inside 

my undulating chest 
and heart


Sitting at this wooden table


contemplating it not being real
 and part of me…
 

and part of you…
.

and I’m not really touching it… 

it’s touching me.

 

The music changes

I dream of being a poet

I dream of being who I am

 

I dream of making music 

unabashedly humble

grateful to share this gift with the Greats

To only for a moment think of all those who laid the path before me

those brave and enduring souls who

pebble by pebble, note by note

stroke by stroke, experience by heartbreakingly joyful, or painful, experience, tapped in

 

They tapped in, not out


Some through Divine Spirit intervention,


some through straight-up booze.

Whatever the avenue, whatever the teacher,

it brought about my ancestors of music and word.

They walked that road.

 

Creative muse lingers just outside our reach 

we must take heed


We must cook up that stew

be ready when the salt falls from the shelf

to delightfully enrich our slippery, sensuous, slimy, salubrious, sacred soup


So thank you. 

Thank you Greats. 

Thank you oldies, thank you newbies

thank you to those who have yet to be born.

 


Thank you for learnin’ me to open up

stand up straight

be connected to the ground

lift my head and sing – those notes are not mine, they are Ours.

 

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Adieu for now! Crystal Bright and I will be doing a show together in Greensboro on November 12th.  Other than that show, I’ll be recording in the studio, painting, and compiling/editing poetry! Y’all have a beautiful week. 

Love, ALM


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Crow Crosses The Moon

Crow Crosses the Moon

Grandfather finally heard him… 

the crow, squawking in the twilight, that night he could hear again

Today, I saw him flying just across the newly waning Moon 

In the morning daylight, sky filled with blue


There are lots of old crows in my life

Moments of nostalgia, of regret

moments of desire to be between lines on the highway

those places I haven’t met just yet

The mountain comes to mind, I used to call my home

An old crow lives there. A hermit, a giggler, free to roam.

He beckons me sometimes, I revisit those old lives

I heed the call sometimes, in search of starlight time


But finding solace in the gravel, in the fearless doe’s eyes

Inside what used to be pain, newfound serenity belies 


Up there, amongst the endless trails

The crows, they laugh and sing

in droves, which song?

Which melody? Something, certainly, is stirring

Only once did I hear an owl, what kind I couldn’t tell

the lone mountainside cried, under some kind of ancient spell


The trees up there, gnarled from incessant winds

Loom over the ground, so rocky, my hands would often skim

The bright green ramps litter early Spring, 

Deep, crimson trilliums, spring beauties, and turk’s cap blossom shortly, to miss this magic feels simply like a sin


Beech trees and old hills of yore

They have seen many lives and grown many more

I dream of visitation, no longer of a life

But when from a crow, a glimpse of wildness, a journey I must expedite


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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 15, October 8

Today’s weekly song series is up! Check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/anitalorrainemusic/videos/535090620390659/

Dedication: This week is dedicated to Sandie Kennedy. She introduced me to Tarot when I was sixteen or seventeen and I could not be more grateful. For years I was ashamed of my mystical frou frou leanings. Growing up in a Southern Baptist church by non-woo humans certainly never leant itself to any out of the ordinary behavior (of which I was constantly involved) or witchy shit of any kind. Sandie was the first adult I ever met who was all up in the woo and made no bones about it. No apologies ever about who she was or in what she believed. I truly needed a woman like that in my life without a dogma, without an agenda. On top of that she loved motorcycles and had some amazing children all of whom I love to this day. Of course her own children may say of her what they want; I contend that she was one of the first women in my life who I looked up to for being unapologetically who she is. Go Sandie. Thank you for being. Period.

Quote: On Friendship: “…when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet speaking on the sacred topic of friendship. Today, I was reminded of how grateful I am to be able to count on my fingers and toes all the humans I love dearly, yet do not see very often. To those friends time cannot touch. Those friends with whom no distance can divide the love. There are many of you, for I have lived a privileged life of travel and adventure. You are all treasured and measureless in your meaning to me in this world.

Song: Lizzo: Soulmate – for those of us out here in the singles world, there are days when solitude can be overwhelming. Lizzo makes that fizzle away into the fire that is her music. The emblazoned words, “and I gotta testify, I get flowers every Sunday, I’mma marry me one day… cause I’m my own soulmate, I know how to love me, I know that I’m always gonna hold me down… look up in the mirror like ‘damn she the one!’” FYI, don’t listen to this around kids unless your kids cuss as much as I do… Lizzo does not give a f***. https://youtu.be/cORNQkOdYw0 I am learning to be my own soulmate, for I cannot give of myself if I am not whole. We gotta do our own work. Do the work! Soul work! (I swear, I will say this to everyone, EVERYONE needs therapy. Everyone needs someone with whom to talk about your inner junk. We ALL have it and this culture does not teach us how to recognize our issues, much less DEAL with them in healthy ways.) Thanks Lizzo for being a bit of extravagant therapy on the way to work every other day. Thank you Emily Miller for hooking me UP.

Dear Humans, I have another quote to share with you. It’s a quote that rushed right out of my mouth when I was speaking with a dear friend in Florida this week. “To be a rebel is to ask for help.” (In America.). We were discussing how hard it is to ask for help and I added that it is sometimes hard even to know what you need, much less be able to ask for help with whatever it is! We all struggle with inner demons, whether we recognize them or pay attention closely enough with a mirror to examine from where they originate is a “whole ‘nuther story!”

There’s so much going on right now that I feel I’m on a roller coaster that hasn’t stopped. Thing is, it’s slowing down, I can feel it. I have antidotes, potions, remedies, medicine and restorative practices to slow down my heart rate and see things from a more objective perspective. There is a list of creative endeavors which give me great peace and excitement upcoming: Poetry Book, Moore On That podcast, and Surrendering to the Sacred album!

Without any upcoming shows, I don’t have a boatload of rehearsals or practice. I have been playing and singing, but only to myself (and to you people on Tuesdays!). It’s been quite nice! I have gone to a few shows, had some lovely dinners with friends, begun reading new books, worked on sewing projects, sold my bed and mattress, working on selling my vintage dresser and nightstand set, brought down my fall accoutrements and sweaters are EVERYWHERE. My newest books are called “Well-Read Black Girl” by Glory Edim, “Deeper Dating” by Ken Page, and the “Autobiography of my Mother” by Jamaica Kincaid. Tea at night and going to bed early are becoming habitual. I’m learning how to pray, how to incorporate it into my habits… this morning was filled with ritual and intention for the rest of the month of October. I’m struggling with addictions and habitual behaviors which are dictated by shame and guilt cycles. It is perplexing to try to find solutions to those cycles, but surely they exist. Bless all of you who read this and care, it means a great deal to me. I’m stepping down to rest a bit and to more carefully juggle my wild side with my disciplined self. This Summer was filled with work beyond my wildest dreams, madness which has helped me step closer to fulfilling goals of creating an album and living my life authentically and radical honesty and assertiveness. Cheers! Here’s to the Autumn of abundance and harvest. Let’s celebrate. (Minus the booze, thanks.)

This week in photos:

Enjoying sleeves, wool hats, vests, scarves, and my Paw Paw’s 83 Mazda pickup transporting beds across town. Damn I’m sleeping like a rock on my own mattress. *Thankful*
This was my spread this morning. 1. Where to dig deeper (3 of cups) 2. Where to rest (9 of pentacles) and 3. What will transform with this balance? (The Hierophant)
Still unpacking this set. It’s for focusing on the month of October.
This cute greenie was outside the Eddy last Friday night.
Although I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, this book on shame was so intense that I had to put it down. I haven’t yet picked it up again.
Some of my most top played songs of late.


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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 14, October 1, 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 14, October 1, 2019

#WeeklySongSeries video tonight (I’ll post the video link here later). I’m going to play the first track on the upcoming album #SurrenderingToTheSacred – Changin’ Time Blues – October is where I feel the most connected to love in the world, to Ransom’s Spirit, and to my brother Skip’s memory. “I wanna look in your eye and see the October sky, oh baby I got the changin’ time blues…”

Dedication: Today’s newsletter and song is dedicated to my late friend Burke Stedman. I attended his memorial service on Sunday prior to playing at the Carrboro Music Festival. The tears shed in that building were innumerable. Burke was an amazing person, inspiring and beautiful, passionate and one of my first spiritual teachers. We spun fire together when I would accompany him and Neidra “WhiteFire” ~ the Burning Love Firedance performance group they created. His dancing is unforgettable, I would giggle at his sprite-like scooting dance moves as he was twirling his poi and cracking his fire whip. ~ He and I both loved Tom Robbins. His love went back most of his lifetime and once I had the privilege of hearing Tom Robbins speak in his home, Blowing Rock, NC. For Burke, Tom signed his latest book “Tibetan Peach Pie” and I gave it to him as a gift. He was so touched! HAHA! ~ On a more serious note, the details of his demise to me are very frustrating and I seriously blame the corrupt and oppressive system of law for his passing. All I can say is that if you have ever felt that marijuana should be legalized, you should advocate for it. Call your reps. Tell them how it matters to you. Tell them how the criminalization of such a sacred and helpful plant ruins peoples lives and wastes resources in the criminal “justice” system. Donate to the MPP. (https://www.mpp.org/) One of my all-time heroes, Willie Nelson said that weed saved his life! (https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2019/05/03/willie-nelson-details-how-marijuana-saved-my-life-new-rolling-stone-interview-new-album/3660987002/) I need not say more on this. We need to make changes and legalize marijuana. Period. I am as steadfast on this point as I am with abolishing the death penalty and ending perpetual war and rampant systems of bigotry in this country. I don’t even smoke weed. *steps off soapbox*

Quote “A true believer may worship Jehovah, Allah, or Brahma, the supernatural beings who allegedly created all life; a true believer may slavishly adhere to a dogma designed theoretically to improve life; yet for life itself—its pleasures, wonders, and delights—he or she holds minimal regard. Music, chess, wine, card games, attractive clothing, dancing, meditation, kites, perfume, marijuana, flirting, soccer, cheeseburgers, any expression of beauty, and any recognition of genius or individual excellence: each of those things has been severely condemned and even outlawed by one cadre of true believers or another in modern times.”
― Tom Robbins, Villa Incognito “As of 2013, Robbins is a member of the Marijuana Policy Project‘s Advisory Board, alongside numerous other notable figures such as Jack Black and Ani DiFranco. The Marijuana Policy Project (MPP) is the largest organization working solely on marijuana policy reform in the United States in terms of its budget, number of members, and staff.”

Except in the areas of civil rights and medical marijuana, the legacy of the sixties counterculture has been largely superficial. Still, though the light has dimmed and gone underground, something in me would like to think the sixties phenomenon was a dress rehearsal for a grander, wider leap in consciousness yet to come. - Tom Robbins

Song: “I’ve Got To Get You Into My Life” – The Beatles – tps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_tCX9I8fxU Burke LOVED the Beatles (this song is about marijuana according to Paul McCartney https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/pot-sounds-the-20-greatest-weed-themed-songs-of-all-time-627951/the-beatles-got-to-get-you-into-my-life-1966-2-628022/ ) ht

Dear Humans: I’ve been a bit long winded today, but not for naught. Burke’s passing and memorial reminded me of how sacred life is. My latest mindset has been pretty amazed by how much time passes without us even knowing it or realizing it. How often we don’t do things because we are afraid of “the future and worrying about the past…” (Joni quote from the song “Help Me”). I’m making a concerted effort today to truly be in the moment more often and stop using my phone so much. More broadly, to stop considering why things won’t work. Stop concerning myself with other people’s thoughts and motivations. “Keep inside your hula-hoop Anita” my Al-Anon sponsor reminds me. (I have a meeting with her in 30 minutes. 🙂 I have songs to write and projects upon which to focus. Focus. Focus. I had a woolly worm visitor who told me to do some self-evaluation, pay attention to the “weather” and remember my determination, endurance, resilience and sacred survival skills/experience. There was also a tarot reading last Friday that wrapped it up too. The cards said I need to develop my “no” muscle and highlighted the inner struggle I have between my wild, untamed side and my “as I am expected to do” side. It’s ALWAYS a choice… The reading also told me to pay attention to my dreams and to allow love into my life – don’t push away gifts freely given. That was *spooky* I’m developing a podcast concept right now based on Self-Justice, Self-Care and the greater, worldly implications of such systems of gifts, priorities, and just yesterday another concept crept up in catching up with an old friend: “To be a rebel is to ask for help.” (especially in good ole individualist America.) These concepts and Moore on my new podcast, Moore on That. Moore to come. (See what I did there.) HAHA

First time I set foot on the Pacific Crest Trail, June 2017

Upcoming performances: There aren’t any! Not until November with Crystal Bright at Lucky 32 restaurant in Greensboro. Recording this album and going into the studio is my top priority right now. Once these songs are finished being recorded and the final edits are complete, I will start booking shows again. Until then, I’ll still be doing my Tuesday Weekly video series and developing this new podcast! Love y’all.

This week in pictures:

The gorgeous, magical moon last night at dusk. ❤
Make sense to you?
YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SONG. EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS SONG.
The Woolley Worm Visitor
The tarot spread with my own cards recreated
A poem I wrote this past week.