anitalorraine.com

Musician and Activist devoted to Justice, Creativity, and Courage


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Two years ago, today is an affirmation, not a goal. I nod my head, I do not shake it in disbelief…

Thanks to Facebook reminders, (sometimes they are a curse, sometimes they are a blessing) a poem/self-pep talk I’d written two years ago, today, popped up on the screen. Two years ago, I’d only just moved back to Saxapahaw from Beech Mountain 3 months prior. I’d been seeing a new therapist for just under a month (Dec 14th is the anniversary of our first meeting, cause I keep up with things like that…) and I was in the midst of having my wisdom teeth removed and learning some wisdom by experience about who to trust and had just begun learning how to listen to my intuition and vertical integrity (trusting myself… I was nowhere near trusting the Sacred Spirit yet). So guess what, today, this reminder has confirmed my morning soul-nourishing work. There are constant reminders from the Universe that I’ve come a long way and am becoming more and more ready to fully embody this Form of Spirit. As I crumbled into openness during this not-too-long-ago time, through EMDR PTSD therapy, eventually joining with Al-Anon, and opening my heart to a few close friends, this passage from two years ago is truly felt. I hope you see this in me, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Anita Moore… (then Anita Kinney)…

‘s turning a corner ~ a path to health and clarity
A non-doldrum roar of cleaning it all the fuck out ~ body and spirit
love and truth.

I have strands of positivity reaching into the future
I am envisioning that enlivened journey of my Self.
The yellow-brick road leads to Anita’ville,
the badass grateful go-getter, with a no-stop’em medidationary attitude of the Now-Tao.
There are lilies on my tongue and roses in my nose,
golden light shining right out of my ass. (Thanks everyone)
Purging and seeing what’s real and what’s not.
Keeping in the check mark those stories I tell myself and refuse to listen to the ones that aren’t true.
No assumptions. No generalizations. Be specific. Be on point. Be loving and trusting and open and true. Be the brave believer and the courageous vulnerable one.
Be clear and focused and heart-of-gold style out there ~ and right here.
Breathing and walking and singing and plotting my own enigmatic Now.

This world needs more love and active voices of the light, in the streets, in the claiming of what we deserve ~ clean water and fresh air to breathe, true voices and something we can believe in: system-change, not puppet change. Seething with light-force, I know I am in the heart of God.

I am in the heart of God. I am in the heart of God.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing
Grateful, supported, loved, confident, safe, driven, dedicated, passionate, resisting injustice!


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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2, Issue 2, January 15, 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2, Issue 2 January 15, 2019


Quote: “the first and foremost cause of illness is the loss of faith in the divine.” – Charaka (3rd century BC, Father of Indian Medicine, principle of Ayurveda)

Song: “Red Dust” by James Vincent McMurrow – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWKG-qlRYrU (not the official video, it’s rather troubling.) I heard this song on SOMA.FM (one of my favorite independent internet radio stations)

Dedication: This week is dedicated to Paul and Kim. They let me live with them for the past 6 months or so and I so greatly appreciate the privilege of getting to stay in Saxapahaw until I found a place. I have way too much stuff and they didn’t make too much fun of me for it. Love them both so much.

Dear Humans, This week was tremendously busy. Moving. Teaching. Lesson planning. Presentation making. Starting back the Spring semester with Democracy Matters. Pulling cards day after day with my new Tarot card deck. There’s so much happening. I couldn’t have moved without the help of some dear and new friends, I so appreciate everyone’s help!

Big things this week: Ankle Doc (planning a MRI to see if I need (want) surgery), HR-1 pro-democracy political actions in the works (getting big money out of politics, establishing public-funding of elections, voter protections, etc), taught my 2nd class at ACC yesterday (it was awesome; three new students, interactive and participating students make the teachers world go round), helped Magz paint her upcoming new home, had a lovely sponsor meeting where I talked about vulnerability and the necessity of it…, hosted a Sunday Supper here at the new crib (many surprising faces arrived and I got to play music with Bruce for the first time in weeks!).

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek: What are your favorite ways to make your home feel good to you? Mine are candles and fresh flowers, cozy and heavy bed sheets and blankets, kitty snuggles, and warm, home-cooked meals.

Upcoming Shows:
January 17th – Singing Diamonds and Gold at a Tom Waits Cabaret show – 9:00pm The Pit Chapel Hill – https://www.facebook.com/events/220906495504230/
February 8th – Arcana – Tom Waits cover show with the Clowns!

This week in pictures:



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TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 1 January 8, 2019

TuesDayNewsDay Vol.2 Issue 1 January 8, 2019

Quote: “Intellect and Instinct Unify” -The Vertical Oracle

Song: “I Can’t Go For That” Haul & Oates ~ this song was running through my friend Bruce’s head today as he was helping me move a bookcase into my new digs. Now it’s running through my head. What do you think he can’t go for? She wants his soul? Or something else more sinister? Songs have a way of being layered with symbolism. https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

Dedication: Naomi Totten was my high school chorus teacher and the reason why I made it to graduation. I went to Cummings High School in Burlington, NC. I loved my school. I couldn’t decide where I fit in because I ran track, smoked cigarettes in the bathroom with the bad kids, I was a cheerleader (on a dare), got straight As in classes and terrible conduct grades, and also had a part-time job at a local Italian mom-n-pop joint called Angelos. I did a fair share of drugs, starting in middle school, mostly weed and mushrooms, a little LSD here and there and then got into some harder stuff in high school, lots of ecstasy and pressed pills. I remember a point where I was so confused about who I was, I took a bunch of diet pills and tried to commit suicide. I laid on the railroad tracks for hours, sick as a dog and praying for the train to come because I couldn’t move. (This newsletter became pretty serious, pretty quickly I realize… but not to worry, it gets better.).

Mrs. Totten was always getting on my case. She was always telling me I could do better. She ALWAYS believed in me, even when I was being a huge pain in the ass. I was chasing after boys and wondering how I could chase after girls and get away with it… Never once could I sit still enough to really pay attention to what was going on in class, except for one class, chorus. I loved chorus. Mrs. Totten was always challenging me and encouraging me to go home and practice. She encouraged me to sing opera pieces and complex soprano solos for our recitals and concerts. We’d practice SOLFEDGE and sometimes she’d let us lead class with it. If it weren’t for chorus, I probably would have hated high school altogether. The pivotal moment happened when she encouraged me to try out for this all-county chorus opportunity. I had to learn a piece by Handel’s Hallelujah and it was NOT easy. When I went to tryouts, I’d never had to sing in front of people in that context and I was extremely nervous, but I sang my part (of a 6 part harmony song) perfectly. We had to wait a few days for the results and when they came in, I was the only girl from my school who’d made it. The crux of this story centers around the fact that this all-county chorus was put together specifically for a trip to Vienna, Austria to sing in several cathedrals, schools, monasteries, and at this international choir convention just prior to Christmas. The furthest I’d traveled at that point in my life was no further North than Williamsburg, VA, no further South than Myrtle Beach, SC, and no further West than Gatlinburg, TN. This trip changed my life in such significant ways, I can’t tell you all of them.

Mrs. Totten and 5 other choir directors from the 5 other schools in our county led the trip. I was the only girl from my school, so I didn’t know anyone else from the other schools. It may surprise you, but I didn’t make very many friends. I didn’t really try to be honest. I was enamored with the streets of Vienna. I wandered off alone every minute I could to check out my surroundings, the stores, the buildings, listening to people speaking different languages… it was magical. That trip changed my life. Suddenly the world was SO much bigger. I’d had to fundraise for months prior to going, I didn’t have $3000 just laying around. It was worth every dime and every second of effort. I wanted to do right by Mrs. Totten on the trip, her approval meant the world to me. I had more respect for her than for anyone else I can remember growing up. It was this trip that changed my perspective so drastically that I started to realize the mistakes I’d been making in my life up to that point. I began to see how detrimental my social lifestyle was to the potential for me to grow into a whole, happy human. With the support of my boyfriend DC at the time and my dear friend CJ, I basically quit doing drugs, applied to college for vocal operatic performance, quit hanging out with all the drug using crowd, and went on to be extremely thankful for music and what it did for me as a person. I thank music and my talents profusely, however, I feel that without the support, love, and encouragement of Mrs. Totten, I’d have faltered into a statistic and that would have been it. I dedicate this issue to her. She’s one of the main reasons for all of my seasons around here. 🙂 ❤ 🙂

Dear Humans,

Welcome back to the TuesDayNewsDay Anita Lorraine newsletter. It’s been several week since I’ve published, life has happened and so it goes on! The holiday season is not my favorite, but I grin’n’bear it as they say. Music has been spare these last several weeks, other than just playing at the Cats Cradle with Emily Musolino and Crystal Bright. That night was amazing and made me very happy. I felt hella privileged to get to share the stage with such amazing humans.

The stars and planets and Sun and Moon have been doing some good work and I had an epiphany of late that I finally believe in something bigger. Something I have always wanted to find and turns out it really was an epiphany. I got chills. I was sitting on my knees in the Moonlight realizing how small yet how big we can be. It was a beautiful night of manifestation as well. I made a decision there will be no more chasing. In relationships, I have done a lion’s share of the chasing and I quit. I quit chasing boys. I quit chasing girls. I quit chasing my loved ones who can’t be committed to that love. Live and let live. Love and let love. Detachment. It works. Since then, manifestation has been the name of the game and it’s turning out moment by moment perfectly, all in hindsight of course. 😉 I pulled a card from my Affirmators! Love and Relationships deck tonight – it says, “I’m a catch.” ~ “I’m a total catch, and I know all the reasons why. I know that anyone would be lucky to be with me, and that doesn’t mean I’m arrogant or snobby… Self-respect is just one of the many qualities exhibited by this complete and utter babe. Way to affirm Universe! So here goes, I’m going to make a list of the things going on:

1. I just taught my first class at Alamance Community College, critical thinking. It was awesome. 2. New Years Eve I got to go to the beach with a dear friend. 3. Xmas I had to see my mother. Awkward and painful. 4. I’m moving into a new house centrally located in my hometown where I get to people watch all day if I want to. 5. I have a new and sacred relationship with Ritual. I find it vital to my health. 6. I’m wearing an ankle brace right now in order to hopefully avoid surgery… old injury, new insurance! 7. 2019 is going to kick ass and suck. Just like every year. ;). 8. I’m singing in a cool show next week. 9. I ruined a perfectly good haircut by getting happy with scissors a few weeks ago… luckily I know some people… 10. Magic happens, I get to go to Bynum for a hike sometime with someone special after I figure out my ankle situation.

#LivingQueryOfTheWeek – What is god for you? Is it goddess? Is it spirit? For me it’s an amalgamation of the little girl inside of me who saved my ass as a child and this all-everything energetic entity that exists in hindsight who/that gives you insight into all the lessons you’ve learned….

Upcoming Shows:

January 17th – (I’ll fill you in where) Singing Diamonds and Gold at a Tom Waits Cabaret show Orange County somewhere…

February 8th – Arcana – Tom Waits cover show with the Clowns!

This week in Pictures…this last MONTH in pictures!